I recently text a reader of mine who I treated as a friend. Her wedding plan didn’t turn out as well as expected and I was worried for her.

Her wedding was called off.

She replied she was doing fine and moving on in her life.

That is the spirit!

I couldn’t tell her “I understand how I feel.”

I never will. Neither will you.

How will we understand what someone has gone through?

I don’t think I ever will.

Looking at the brighter perspective, it may be better for some of us to relook at what we actually want for our marriage.

It is also a good time to review if he is someone who we want to live with for the rest of our lives.

I was reading this marriage guide book for newly-wed couples this afternoon.

I am not sure how much you will agree.
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Marriage issues arise from different areas, mostly from some minor misunderstanding and miscommunication.

A lot of time these issues can be resolved when they are in their infancy stage. However, many couples choose to let them pass, still remember them and let them erupt over time.

Let me give an example. Let’s say a couple quarrels, what do they normally quarrel about.

And during their quarreling, do you realise most of the times they will bring out some past matters to reinforce their point of view.

Meaning to say to justify that they are “right” and their partners are “wrong”.

In fact, do we really know who is right or wrong?

And when couples do not know how to handle such conflicts properly, alot of times this marks the end of a relationship and couples choose to go their separate ways.

This pattern of conflict management is repeated in their next relationship and they cope in the same way, meaning they go their separate ways again.
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Having conflicts are natural. It is healthy to have conflicts.

“What? Are you nuts?”

Looking back at my fist 9 months of marriage life, it has not been easy.

I’m not saying that we are in crisis or any similar form. Thank goodness we are not.

While looking at the days we have walked through together and effort we have put in, I could say we can score about 6 upon 10. (Still lots of room for improvement, you know.)

What we have done so far:

1. A gentle stroll round our house

I remember that we made an effort to stroll around the estate every night without fail.

These are personal times we could catch up with each other.

There are so many things to talk about. I just don’t understand how come older couples find each other bored. Maybe they just don’t want to talk. Just maybe.

Every day there are so many things going on. I just can’t wait to tell my wife about it when I reach home.

However, I must confess that it is not easy to be consistent. There are times we are very busy or one of us is busy. There are times that we simply forgot or are not bothered about it at all.

We need each other to constantly remind us now and then.

2. Exercising regularly
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“Yes, I do!” replied the girlfriend after the boyfriend kneeled in the middle of a busy crowd and proposed to his future wife. (not bad for an Eiffel tower proposal too!)

Yes, I do see that she is in for a roller coaster ride of wedding planning physically, mentally and emotionally.

For those of you who are planning your wedding right now, you get what I meant.

A few of my friends are planning their wedding right now and I can see that they are at different phases.

I’m clueless of what to do!!!:

What comes after proposal? Definitely not sex.

It is the responsibility of commiting to the many tasks that are pouring onto you.

Are you prepared financially? Your wedding-planning is going to cut a big hole in your pocket and money is going to flow out like nobody’s business.

Do you know what to do next? How to look for your wedding venue? What about your wedding favors? Oh, I forget to tell you that you will be meeting some really nasty wedding service providers like the bridal studios staff who only provide the service to customers who spent alot.

My fiance has changed!:
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I was taking the subway a moment ago and saw a public display of intense affection.

Notice I use the word “intense”.

The boyfriend was hugging the girlfriend so tightly from behind, literally smelling her and groping her breasts in the midst of a crowd.

They were too busy till they didn’t notice at least twenty pairs of eyes were on them.

Oh my, free RA (Restricted Artistic) show to watch!

In Singapore, there was a big news earlier this year or the last (I can’t remember) when a student couple from a local polytechnic started the circulation of the video named Tammy. In fact, I think that was her name.

A short video of them having hot sex was circulated controllably like bushfire starting from within the school compound to the whole of internet world. They were filming themselves having sex in a room and the amateur video was done using their mobile phone.

When lovers are blinded by relationship, this is one of the common things that may happen.

It really amazed me how wildly and blindly in love can today teens be in and they can do anything, almost anything to express their love for each other.

I know of this common tag line by boyfriends on their girlfriends “If you don’t want to have sex with me means you don’t love me.”

This is when the avalanche of problems set in. Parent is in fact the best person to educate her daughters to respect their bodies. And if the guys love them, they will wait for you no matter what.

On the contrary when the relationship starts to fall apart, women as well as men can do really hurting stuff just to kill and exterminate each other from the surface of the earth.
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