Marriage issues arise from different areas, mostly from some minor misunderstanding and miscommunication.

A lot of time these issues can be resolved when they are in their infancy stage. However, many couples choose to let them pass, still remember them and let them erupt over time.

Let me give an example. Let’s say a couple quarrels, what do they normally quarrel about.

And during their quarreling, do you realise most of the times they will bring out some past matters to reinforce their point of view.

Meaning to say to justify that they are “right” and their partners are “wrong”.

In fact, do we really know who is right or wrong?

And when couples do not know how to handle such conflicts properly, alot of times this marks the end of a relationship and couples choose to go their separate ways.

This pattern of conflict management is repeated in their next relationship and they cope in the same way, meaning they go their separate ways again.

In fact, if couples have learnt a healthier way of managing their conflcts, many relationships could have been saved.

So how should you respond when you sense an argument is going to start?

You know you may blow your top soon. What can you do?

One good way to say “I’m very angry now and I need to cool down.” And you walk away.

This offers an explanation to the walking away rather than having your partner to misunderstand it as “running away” from the probblem.

After you have cooled down (and your partner too), come together again and address the issue.

Remember address the issue, NOT the person.

Find out what happened and what it is about the issue that each party doesn’t feel comfortable.

Discuss about it and come to a compromise.

Take turns to share how you feel and what you think. This gives each of you chance to explain or to clarify.

I know it is not easy but it is a good start to first learn to walk away.

Remember you ought to do it simply for one reason, that is to protect your relationship.