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Many people thought that after wedding, everything will go smoothly as long as they abide by the rules of the marriage game. Thye may think that it is like gliding along the dance floor, so graceful and smooth.

How many of us can recite the wedding vows again right now?

This makes my point that most of us, who are married, don’t really know the rules even we thought we knew.

It is just like going into the field to play soccer but not knowing the rules such as where to stand, where there will be penalty and so on.

Here are the only 7 tips you ever need to make your marriage works and I promise you these are all you ever need.

Principle 1: Enhance Your Love Maps

Being married means commited to supporting each other. In addition, it means helping each other to grow, supporting each other’s dreams and flourishing the relationship beyond where it is today.

My wife wants to be in the design field and I support her with all my heart. In addition, I told her I will provide her all my resources and knowledge and I consistently remind to do whatever it takes to pursue her dream.

I don’t say “no” but she had to stay at home to look after the kids.

Making the relationship flourish means consciously adding little sparks of surprises now and then. My wife gets a bouquet of flower once every month or two months.

In alternate years, both of us plan to join some courses each of us like. This year, we have joined the pilate class and I’m the only guy in class sometimes.

Yes, it does make me feel uncomforatble. However, it is my committment to our love map to make our love grow. Next year, it will be my turn to choose.

Action to TAKE NOW! Draw a routine of both you and your spouse can do on this weekend. It will be a good way to start.

Principle 2: Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration

Do you know that we have this “Remind Your Strengths” session every now and then?

It is to reinforce our beliefs on each other. My wife has always selflessly reminded me of how good I am when I was down.

I always make it a point to remind my wife that she has already done her best whenever she felt she has not. I fully believe she has and I tell her in full confidence that she is always working and doing her best.

This makes us feel good.

Imagine someone coming up to you to praise you that you are good-looking and smart. Won’t you feel being on cloud nine?
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I have heard of many stories of couples enjoying their honeymoon period. And when the baby comes, they start to quarrel because of many unresolved issues and mismatched expectations.

They may be quarreling over whose turn it is to take care of their baby, or whose turn to wake up 4am to feed the baby, or whose turn to fork out money for the baby-sitter.

The list just goes on and on. Minor stuff like the food is too hot or the bed is not made can be trigger the volcano at home to erupt uncontrollably.

Do you want to know the number one secret how all these can be avoided instantly?

The secret lies in your pre-wedding.

Would you want to know the 7 secrets never to argue with your spouse again?

1. Use pre-wedding to understand your spouse-to-be

There are hundred and one new thing to discover about your spouse during the wedding planning stage. As time passes and you realised that “why is it my partner behaves like that?” or “why is she like this?”

It is not that your partner has changed. It is because you have yet to spend enough time seeing their private selves in the past.

Each of us has a public and a private self. Even married couples of twenty over years may not necessarily have discovered the most private aspect of their spouse.

2. Discover how both of you can cope healthily
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Who knows how to be the most ideal son-in-law?

Do you?

This is a tough question to be answered. I’m sure some of you will be thinking of how on earth can this impossible task be accomplished.

I have heard of mother-in-laws swearing at their son-in-laws for not being filial. And for the minority of you, I’m sure you are very well-loved by your mothe-in-laws.

No, it is not because you are extra handsome or charismatic such that you are well-loved by your mother-in-laws.

It is most probably you have done something really different from others and in fact, special such that your mother-in-laws love you so much, sometimes more than their daughters.

7 Ways Not to Offend Your Mother-In-Law

1. Respect your mother-in-law
Respect her just like how you would treat your own mother. And treat her in a very polite, courteous and respectful manner.

In fact, this is a simple rule which all of us like. We love to be treated in the right manner. All of us feel good when we are well-treated.

2. Bring her out once in a while
Some of you may be saying “What?!! You must be crazy to even think about this?”

I think this is a really tough task for some of you. When you bring your mother-in-law out for a meal or shopping, there are only two of you. You may have to talk to her face-to-face for the next 3 to 5 hours or so. And this can be worse than having the worst nightmare you can get.

Going out with her can allow you to spend some personal time to know your mother-in-law well. And do remember to pay for her meals too.
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This article is extracted from a Singapore’s Match-making blog:

“Two of our members are tying the knot today! 🙂

Actually, as I am writing this post, they are probably saying their vows. Their respective dating consultants are representing the company to attend the solemnization ceremony.

The couple dropped by earlier this week to convey their thank yous.

Jamie and I met up with them, and we had a good chat. Let?s call them Mr. and Ms. Laidback, soon to be known as Mr. and Mrs. Laidback. 🙂

As for why I decided to name them Mr. & Ms. Laidback? I actually mean it in a good way, because I feel that they are both very relaxed and friendly, and both quick to warm up to people. 🙂

So anyway, the story goes like this?

They went on their first date, and Ms. L was very stressed out at work that day. So she broke every first date rule possible. It?s quite funny?

She told me, ?You know the list of Do?s and Don?ts you guys send us in your email, I broke every single one of them!?

Basically, she unloaded her stress on him. Oops!

According to Mr. L, he thought Ms. L was definitely quite different from his previous dates! Haha! 🙂

And if that?s not bad enough, after he gave her his namecard, she forgot to give him hers. So on his side, he thought she?s probably not interested in exchanging details.
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After the proposal is done, what is next?

There seem to be an endless things to be done but wedding couples who are completely new to this committment can be absolutely clueless of what to do even for the next step.

So it sounds like not everybody knows what actually is “wedding planning”.

Putting physical tasks such as looking for the right hotel, the right venue for their honeymoon and the right bridal studio, many are unaware that there are even more challenging tasks coming towards them.

I remembered these are the 5 Biggest Problems for Me while preparing for my wedding.

1. “Money is never enough”
Lots of money is required for my wedding. The expense list can be as long as a few metres long. I need to pay for the wedding package we got from the bridal studio, the deposit for our wedding dinner, the renovation of our bedroom. Money saved for the past few years was completely used up in a few months.

Money that was saved at the beginning of each month would be withdrawn by the end of every month.

Kudos to the many wedding couples who spent years of saving up together for their mega wedding project. I had learnt from a few friends who spent 5 years saving up every single cent that they could for their weddings.

Other wedding couples who were lucky to have the “sponsorship” from parents may not understand what I meant or the times I went through. I had some friends whose parents deposited over S$50,000 into their bank accounts and told them to make their weddings really grand.

Even though at first it may be seen as a windfall, such couples lose the opportunity of learning to save together and to plan their finance.

2. “Whether they found the right one?”
For me, I was very sure my wife is the right person I want to marry.

This concern was shared by my female friends as most wondered if they could have found a better one or if their soon-to-be husbands were the right people for them.

I believed such concerns were common and normal for ladies as they are putting their future into someone’s else hands. And there is no turning back.
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