After the proposal is done, what is next?

There seem to be an endless things to be done but wedding couples who are completely new to this committment can be absolutely clueless of what to do even for the next step.

So it sounds like not everybody knows what actually is “wedding planning”.

Putting physical tasks such as looking for the right hotel, the right venue for their honeymoon and the right bridal studio, many are unaware that there are even more challenging tasks coming towards them.

I remembered these are the 5 Biggest Problems for Me while preparing for my wedding.

1. “Money is never enough”
Lots of money is required for my wedding. The expense list can be as long as a few metres long. I need to pay for the wedding package we got from the bridal studio, the deposit for our wedding dinner, the renovation of our bedroom. Money saved for the past few years was completely used up in a few months.

Money that was saved at the beginning of each month would be withdrawn by the end of every month.

Kudos to the many wedding couples who spent years of saving up together for their mega wedding project. I had learnt from a few friends who spent 5 years saving up every single cent that they could for their weddings.

Other wedding couples who were lucky to have the “sponsorship” from parents may not understand what I meant or the times I went through. I had some friends whose parents deposited over S$50,000 into their bank accounts and told them to make their weddings really grand.

Even though at first it may be seen as a windfall, such couples lose the opportunity of learning to save together and to plan their finance.

2. “Whether they found the right one?”
For me, I was very sure my wife is the right person I want to marry.

This concern was shared by my female friends as most wondered if they could have found a better one or if their soon-to-be husbands were the right people for them.

I believed such concerns were common and normal for ladies as they are putting their future into someone’s else hands. And there is no turning back.

Personally, I feel that even though women’s roles have evolved from a house-wife role to a bread-winner’s roles over the years, many ladies will still want to be showered with lots of love and care by their husbands.

3. “Whether the in-laws will accept them wholeheartedly?”
This is the one of the biggest challenges I have faced and am still facing right now. Sometimes, being fully accepted into the family can create unrealistically high expectations on me by the in-laws.

I got bashed up by comments such as “You never treated me like your mother.” or “You are not filial at all.”

In my own opinion, such remarks from in-laws can be common as they might have high expectations on me as a “son”. I’m still doing my best to live through this and be in my best to smile if such comments come again.

4.”Understanding the inner-child”
I don’t want to frighten you but you may not be marrying your wife or your husband in their adult form. You are marrying his or her inner-child.

Do you realise many times your spouse respond in the child like manner?

She may throw tantrum or he may bark at you?

Some easily get pissed off by certain harmless remarks while others easily get angry.

When such things happen, we got shocked by what we seen and we told ourselves that we have never seen such a side before the wedding.

To many wedding couples, welcome to the reality of after marriage. You have just received the whole package of your spouse!

Even while planning my wedding, I learn much more about my wife and myself. We have to accept the fact we are different and we can still be different after marriage.

Yes, wedding is one of life-changing events. But there is no need for you to change your wife or your husband and neither you want to be changed after your wedding day.

Easier to say than to be done and understand your spouse’s uniqueness and learning to embrace it is a life-time’s effort.

5. I need help from you for the 5th biggest challenge.

What is the biggest problem you are facing right now? I would love to hear from you. Do feel in the comment box below.