My wife’s birthday is coming and normally her birthday celebration will last for a week and sometimes even longer.

I remembered she had 7 birthday gifts last year and she was given one gift per day till her birthday.

This year she wanted a MP3 player and I decided to buy for her as I felt that she deserved a reward for her hard work in school.

It was a surprise for her and I specially made a trip to Suntec to purchase it. I only told her when I called her on the phone.

It was meant to be a surprise. The excitement won’t be there if I had told her the purpose of the trip earlier.

Many people believed that sparks do get extinguished after wedding. I beg to differ. I prefer to see it as transformation of sparks into something even better.
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Many people thought that after wedding, everything will go smoothly as long as they abide by the rules of the marriage game. Thye may think that it is like gliding along the dance floor, so graceful and smooth.

How many of us can recite the wedding vows again right now?

This makes my point that most of us, who are married, don’t really know the rules even we thought we knew.

It is just like going into the field to play soccer but not knowing the rules such as where to stand, where there will be penalty and so on.

Here are the only 7 tips you ever need to make your marriage works and I promise you these are all you ever need.

Principle 1: Enhance Your Love Maps

Being married means commited to supporting each other. In addition, it means helping each other to grow, supporting each other’s dreams and flourishing the relationship beyond where it is today.

My wife wants to be in the design field and I support her with all my heart. In addition, I told her I will provide her all my resources and knowledge and I consistently remind to do whatever it takes to pursue her dream.

I don’t say “no” but she had to stay at home to look after the kids.

Making the relationship flourish means consciously adding little sparks of surprises now and then. My wife gets a bouquet of flower once every month or two months.

In alternate years, both of us plan to join some courses each of us like. This year, we have joined the pilate class and I’m the only guy in class sometimes.

Yes, it does make me feel uncomforatble. However, it is my committment to our love map to make our love grow. Next year, it will be my turn to choose.

Action to TAKE NOW! Draw a routine of both you and your spouse can do on this weekend. It will be a good way to start.

Principle 2: Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration

Do you know that we have this “Remind Your Strengths” session every now and then?

It is to reinforce our beliefs on each other. My wife has always selflessly reminded me of how good I am when I was down.

I always make it a point to remind my wife that she has already done her best whenever she felt she has not. I fully believe she has and I tell her in full confidence that she is always working and doing her best.

This makes us feel good.

Imagine someone coming up to you to praise you that you are good-looking and smart. Won’t you feel being on cloud nine?
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I have heard of many stories of couples enjoying their honeymoon period. And when the baby comes, they start to quarrel because of many unresolved issues and mismatched expectations.

They may be quarreling over whose turn it is to take care of their baby, or whose turn to wake up 4am to feed the baby, or whose turn to fork out money for the baby-sitter.

The list just goes on and on. Minor stuff like the food is too hot or the bed is not made can be trigger the volcano at home to erupt uncontrollably.

Do you want to know the number one secret how all these can be avoided instantly?

The secret lies in your pre-wedding.

Would you want to know the 7 secrets never to argue with your spouse again?

1. Use pre-wedding to understand your spouse-to-be

There are hundred and one new thing to discover about your spouse during the wedding planning stage. As time passes and you realised that “why is it my partner behaves like that?” or “why is she like this?”

It is not that your partner has changed. It is because you have yet to spend enough time seeing their private selves in the past.

Each of us has a public and a private self. Even married couples of twenty over years may not necessarily have discovered the most private aspect of their spouse.

2. Discover how both of you can cope healthily
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We are not the same and yet, we are just a bunch of selfish bunch of people only wanting to change others and never ourselves.

Who is brave enough to admit that you are selfless and you have never thought of wanting to change your spouse to someone ideal?

I’m very human afterall and I dare to say I make these mistakes all the time. Many times, I have to constantly remind myself neither my spouse or me is perfect. This is to make my marriage happy.

Tell me who is? Are you?

Making mistakes is common among couples be it married or not. Even couples who are married for tens of years do honestly tell you that they have made many stupid mistakes in the past and that is why they are so happy right now.

It may be really contradictory and weird but it is the fact. Happily married couples do not always stay happy all the times. They have as much ups and downs just like any couple.

The secret is this. This works all the time and it is determined by how open you want to know it. Even if I tell you this, you have to prove to me that you are willing to use it. Use it not just once but all the times and use it everyday.

So now let me reveal the 5 ways you can learn right now to better understand your spouse.
1. Don’t attempt to change your spouse at all if you are not willing to change yourself. I’m sure during certain times, you have some sense that certain patterns of your life do not work well for you and your relationship.

And many times, we just know it but we are just not willing to change. We always take the easy way out and shift the blame from “I” to “spouse”.
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It was definitely a sigh of relief after the wedding dinner. A year or more of wedding planning certainly was no joke.

As much as we found it really enjoyable and stressful at the same time, we also realised it was the beginning of another long journey for us.

But who cares at that point in time. “Let’s go for our honeymoon first” say most couples.

It was a time to relax and reward yourselves for a mega project completed.

There are some routines that some husbands and wives share with me.

from trussel.com

A colleague of mine shared with me that she and husband will go for daily walk after their dinner without fail.

We are doing our best to go for walks at night too to find out more about each other’s daily lives. And of course, it is a good chance for us to grumble and let out our negative energy.

Another friend of mine who was newly wed for a few months made it a point to go travelling once a year. Even though travelling can be quite common for locals, making the trips to become a yearly “honeymoon” certainly make those trips more meaningful.

This year, we went to Vietnam, Ho Chin Minh and next year perhaps to Cambodia, Laos and North Korea. How exciting!!!

A good friend of mine plans a yearly joint activity with his wife, be it cooking, dancing or jogging. On alternate year, they will do something that each of them enjoys. One year, he accompanied his wife to a flower-decor class.

I remembered I attended Hatha Yoga class with my wife last year and I was the only guy in the class beside the teacher. It was completely uncomfortable at first but I was doing it for my wife. This year, I attended Pilate. Not too bad as there was one more guy.
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