Of late, the newspapers have been marred with bad news ? terrorism, looming war, poor economic outlook, jobs at stake, natural disasters and human crime, the list goes on…?During tough times, it is important that we keep our spirits up and stay positive. There will surely be light at the end of the tunnel. We have to learn to appreciate the little things in our life. A meal with family/ friends, a conversation with a loved one or watching a movie/ TV programme are such trivial matters, but, do we take pleasures in these events?Well, think about the recent Korean train incident, No one expected it to happen. It is so tragic that such a thing should happen and imagine the unresolved issues that each of the victims may have. A truce with someone whom a quarrel has occurred, an occasion that has yet to be celebrated as it has been procrastinated for too many times, etc…??

There are so many things that we have yet to do or experience. Life is short and thus, it is coined precious by many. Let?s do ourselves a favour ? start living and stop brooding on things that are not meant to be and learn to treasure our loved ones and people/ events that come our way.

The birds and the flowers around us did not asked to be born and yet they are surviving just fine as Mother Nature provides for them. They have no plans for the future and they take each day as it comes.

Hence, being the more intelligent species, we will ride out these tough times and if we sow good seeds now, the promise of a bountiful harvest is ensured.

A bouquet for her

During courtship period, most guys will shower the ladies with gifts. Then, while they are still dating, the flow of gifts is still being sustained, maybe decrease a little bit la. Hmm…then after they get married, there is hardly any more gift..”waste money?”

Many times, this is when trouble comes. The ladies may ask “Why isn’t there any more gift for me? Where is the bouquet of flower he sent me everyday when he is courting me?…” the list goes on.

Guys and ladies alike…many times we are so preoccupied with our work, our career, our climb up the corporate ladder, the endless datelines, the many meetings till don’t know what time…by the time, we have reached home, we are so tired. Some may even have to take care of children and that leaves the couples very little time or no time to spend with each other.

I learnt from a friend (she is already in mid-forties, had a 13-year-old son) that everyday, she and her husband goes for a half-an-hour walk after dinner without fail. Other secondary benefits, also a good time to digest the food. Lower probabily for a tummy to be formed too.

The purpose of going for a slow walk is to update each other of their daily’s happenings and share their thoughts with one another. She even said the things they can discuss is endless because different daily events happen to them everyday. In fact, thousands and thoousands of things to talk about. So this makes me ponder why some couples even after 2 years of marriage told me they have nothing much to talk about. They just sit in front of the TV and stare at it.

As for me, I played my part too, making an effort to sit beside her and watch her do work even though she has to look at computer monitor. I also does surprise my fiancee with bouquets of flower, little toys, gifts or even a packet of bread for her to bring to work because I know that she is too busy to take her lunch. Small gesture like this goes a long way.

It is not easy to go through alone, especially when one feels so alone here, with no friend and family. If I were to put myself in your shoe, I would have felt the same way as you do, may be some fear, some anxiety and some sense of loss of direction. A mixture of feelings that you may not even be sure yourself. If you are not even sure yourself, how can others say “I understand how you are feeling.”

It is tough to walk through it alone, with so many obstacles, real or unreal, in the physical space or just in the head. Many people will just say “just go through la, you will be fine.” But how many people actually stop to listen to how you really feel? How many do actually listen to your inner voice? Who can sit down and just hear you out or even to offer a shoulder to cry on?

It is so easy to give up now. It is so easy to say that you don’t want to carry on. But what about the happy times that you have spent with each other? What about the times that both of you have done so much for each other? What about the times you said you love each other? Have you forgotten that?

The road of preparing the wedding is long. As much as we want it to be smooth, but things will seldom be the way we want it. Problems will come, challenges will confront you. Strike down these hurdles together and let them be opportunities for both of you to work together and learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

I know it is easier to say than to do it. I know I’m not you and only you know yourself best and what is best for you.

Glad that the last time I heard from you is things are going on well. You spent more time with your spouse-to-be and both of you communicate more with each other. It is not easy but I’m glad you have done it. Learn all these tools well and keep them by your side, as these will be the tools needed for the entire marriage life.

Many people say marriage is two people’s business. What matter most is both of you are happy and be there for each other.