You marry the adult; You marry the family too
Many people say marriage is two people’s business. What matter most is both of you are happy and be there for each other.
I believe that the marriage is more than two people’s business; it is two families’ business!
The reason that the older folks give for intervening in two people’s business is “for your own good.” They just tell you “they leave the decision entirely to you” but “hoping that you will follow their decision”. Soon, the business will grow from two people to two families.
Hmmmm…I’m just wondering how many of you feel the same way as I do while you are reading this post?
Before food tasting, the older folks tell you they are there to give support and enjoy themselves. Then, when it came to deciding what the final menu is, some of the older folks will give their opinions. And they will tell you 100 “No”s why some of the food you have chosen is the wrong one. Some don’t say in front of everyone. Some leave it till they reach home and they tell the child. Then the child becomes the messenger between two families.
As for me, there are times I have to screen and filter the messages from my own family. If not, the preparation can’t move on. I’m more task-focused. “Ok, let’s make up our mind and move on. No point discussing this food matter for 2 weeks. There are still so much things to worry about and to plan. Anyway, we won’t get to eat on that day.”
My gut feeling is this is just a start: meeting both families’ expectations and the children being used as messengers. I think the key is to have lots of communication plus support within the couple themselves. And constantly reminding themselves, “let’s focus on the issues; none of them is to be blame. And they still love each other very much.”
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