After the proposal is done, what is next?

There seem to be an endless things to be done but wedding couples who are completely new to this committment can be absolutely clueless of what to do even for the next step.

So it sounds like not everybody knows what actually is “wedding planning”.

Putting physical tasks such as looking for the right hotel, the right venue for their honeymoon and the right bridal studio, many are unaware that there are even more challenging tasks coming towards them.

I remembered these are the 5 Biggest Problems for Me while preparing for my wedding.

1. “Money is never enough”
Lots of money is required for my wedding. The expense list can be as long as a few metres long. I need to pay for the wedding package we got from the bridal studio, the deposit for our wedding dinner, the renovation of our bedroom. Money saved for the past few years was completely used up in a few months.

Money that was saved at the beginning of each month would be withdrawn by the end of every month.

Kudos to the many wedding couples who spent years of saving up together for their mega wedding project. I had learnt from a few friends who spent 5 years saving up every single cent that they could for their weddings.

Other wedding couples who were lucky to have the “sponsorship” from parents may not understand what I meant or the times I went through. I had some friends whose parents deposited over S$50,000 into their bank accounts and told them to make their weddings really grand.

Even though at first it may be seen as a windfall, such couples lose the opportunity of learning to save together and to plan their finance.

2. “Whether they found the right one?”
For me, I was very sure my wife is the right person I want to marry.

This concern was shared by my female friends as most wondered if they could have found a better one or if their soon-to-be husbands were the right people for them.

I believed such concerns were common and normal for ladies as they are putting their future into someone’s else hands. And there is no turning back.
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Do you know what to get for your wedding? I’m sure you may be already overwhelmed by the endless list of wedding items you need to get them, not forgetting you still have an endless list of things to do.

from lovedroplets.com

As for me, I even forgot about getting my Ang Pow Box till the week before my wedding. There are just too many things on my mind.

I will be doing a few posts on the wedding items wedding couples need to get or make.

Yes, some wedding couples I know make their very own wedding items.

For me, I had to learnt what are the things to do-it-yourself or buy. If you are talking about the wedding items in large quantity, please spend some money to get them. Imagine having already spent a few thousands of dollars on your honey moon trip, wedding gows and photohsoot, what is another tens of dollars for a nicer wedding item say wedding favors or an ang pow box and the ring pillow?

Here are first 5 items you need for your wedding:

Flower basket:
Do you have flower girls to sprinkle rose petals as you are walking down the aisle with your dear one? These flower girls need a flower basket to put their flowers. I know some brides actually knitted the baskets themselves. Yes, you can do it only if you have time.

Corsages:
Just in case you do not know what a corsage is, it is a flower accessory tied around the wrist of bridesmaids during wedding. Please get corsages that suit your wedding theme and let your bridesmaids know the color theme too. A color contrast of the flowers and the dresses could make the bridesmaids feel awkward.
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It was definitely a sigh of relief after the wedding dinner. A year or more of wedding planning certainly was no joke.

As much as we found it really enjoyable and stressful at the same time, we also realised it was the beginning of another long journey for us.

But who cares at that point in time. “Let’s go for our honeymoon first” say most couples.

It was a time to relax and reward yourselves for a mega project completed.

There are some routines that some husbands and wives share with me.

from trussel.com

A colleague of mine shared with me that she and husband will go for daily walk after their dinner without fail.

We are doing our best to go for walks at night too to find out more about each other’s daily lives. And of course, it is a good chance for us to grumble and let out our negative energy.

Another friend of mine who was newly wed for a few months made it a point to go travelling once a year. Even though travelling can be quite common for locals, making the trips to become a yearly “honeymoon” certainly make those trips more meaningful.

This year, we went to Vietnam, Ho Chin Minh and next year perhaps to Cambodia, Laos and North Korea. How exciting!!!

A good friend of mine plans a yearly joint activity with his wife, be it cooking, dancing or jogging. On alternate year, they will do something that each of them enjoys. One year, he accompanied his wife to a flower-decor class.

I remembered I attended Hatha Yoga class with my wife last year and I was the only guy in the class beside the teacher. It was completely uncomfortable at first but I was doing it for my wife. This year, I attended Pilate. Not too bad as there was one more guy.
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Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. How true this statement is?

from istockphoto.com

Men and women worry about different wedding related things. Their wedding related stress is different most of the times even though some matters may overlap.

I remembered when I was planning my wedding, I was worried about money. My parent was nice enough to lend me some to tide over bad times.

My advice is if you don’t have money, don’t get married yet. Bills just come pouring in and being the guy, I would need to fork out most of the money.

Even though we are living in a different era when men and women are supposed to be equal, my practice is that men should pay more of the wedding expenses, if not all.

What else does a guy worry about?

A guy may worry about if the wedding plans go as planned. However, it seemed to me that most of my lady friends were planning their weddings while their husbands-to-be sat back and relaxed.

I remembered a very real story from my friend that her boyfriend specifically told her he won’t be with her during gown-fitting because it was draggy and a complete waste of his time.

At this point in time, I believe her worry was if she was marrying the right man!

Ladies’ other worries may be if there can be harmony between her and her parent-in-laws.

Alot of time we never really know until we lived together under the same roof top. A lady friend of mine couldn’t even stand a week staying with her in-laws after her wedding and decided to move out after that. Reason was unknown.

Sometimes, the main source of stress can come from the brides’ parents. One excellent example is her mother wants to play her role in planning the wedding for her daughter.
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I have heard from a friend that her wedding has been postponed. It is very sad indeed to hear the news from her.

There were a few exchange of emails and I learnt from her that she is a strong lady.

from cuddlycollectibles.com

Postponement of weddings could arise from many factors.

One of the reasons could be that either the groom or bride has to continue working due to some very important project. They may need to fly off to another country just to seal some multi-million deals with some multi-national companies.

In summary, they are indispensable and their companies need them.

Another reason that I have come across is that either one party has second doubt about committment to the marriage and want more time to think about it.

The third reason that I could think of is either one of the parties could have met with an accident or is unfit for the commencement of the weddings.

Personally, I feel it is really painful for the wedding couples to come to a common consensus to postpone their weddings. It is not an easy decision to make together.
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