Wedding planning is a big project…a mega project, many times bigger than the multi-million project you have ever handled in your career…

Wedding planning can be such a large scale event that it may have suffocated many brides and grooms…physically, mentally, emotionally…and even in terms of their relationships

others take it much more easily and are not really bothered when they failed to get the hotels…the bridal studios or the gowns the bride wanted…they just take it easy…

though such way of coping can be healthy by not increasing unnecessary stress, it can be quite a disturbing scene to bride who will become doubtful of the committment from the groom…

There will also be cases when the groom had to go overseas to work and leave the entire planning to the bride…and only to blame her when things didn’t go the way he wants to be…

The abov scenarios can happened to anyone…not just the bride…situation can be caused by some insensitive brides too.

I remembered while I was planning my wedding, my wife was very busy with her new adjsutment to her career….and she really needed the space and time to get herself familiarise with her new environment…so I did some of the planning and execution initially…

Later, due to my coming exams for my second degree…my wife helped me alot by taking over the coordination and planning…

Wedding-planning became a partnership between us and we definitely learnt alot from there…

We learnt about prioritising and delegating the tasks based on our strengths…my wife is more vocal and she did all the calling…I did most of the planning and coordination and sourcing out for hotels for etc…

and what is really interesting, we partnered to squeeze the 2nd free helper’s room from the hotel…we didn’t really intend to get it…it is not a must….

but it turned out to be fun when I strategised how to go about “demanding” from the hotel what we want because “they have screwed up somewhere else“…it was really exciting to do something so dangerous together…

Planning wedding should be fun…no doubt it can be a roller-coaster ride with times the tram may even veered too far off the track…it should also be exciting…

PLUS what had been helpful for us is we live with the decision each other made and we didn’t question why or ask for more…we know we had done our best…
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Some people do ask me if growing up in a single-parent family has any impact on me. The answer is definitely yes.

We are after all human being with feelings and whatever loss we experience since young will have impact on us.

We will never be sure how many moments we still have in this world, isn’t it?

There are many times I still don’t really understand why couple divorced… 🙁

Though the time I spent with my dad was a short one, lasting merely for 12 to 14 years, I must say that his influence on me is alot.

When young, I have always seen how my dad showered his care and concern on my mommy. He spent every single moment that he has bringing her on holidays, going for tim-sum (Chinese tea-break) and snapping photos of her.

My daddy really loves my mommy alot and he worked really hard, taking more than ten accounting assignments home so that he could provide more for his family. Yet, no matter how busy he was, he would spent his time guiding me in my studies and he would then worked till late into the night.

My father was a great man!

My mother once told me that despite the time she spent wth her husband was only a short one. However, she always remembers all the things he had done for her…such as looking after her when she was unwell…doing most of the housechores…and strivng so hard to father me from cooking my meals to bringing me home from school…
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Many times we took our relationship for granted…only to realise it when it is too late…

We always plan what we need to do tomorrow or in the week after..even till the year after next…be it for work or leisure…

But how many times do we plan for our relationship…before it becomes blurry and murky…and the worst thing is we didn’t even realise it had changed…

Hmmm…something to ponder about later over your lunch or dinner?

How many of us consciously tell ourselves that we need to tell each other “I love you” at least 2 times everyday?

How many of us do have a diary specially dedicated to improving our relationship with our spouse?

My diary, as far as I know, contains only to-do lists till the end of this year…and at most some important dates to remember…

Perhaps, for now, not only just me…all of us do really sit down and plan WITH our spouse…how do we want to imrpove our relationship…

Hmmm..easier to say than to be done…>.<

Ever since I started coming up with My Wedding Blog, I have made some interesting friends and seen some of their really interesting sites.

Marriage is the outcome of courtship…at least a favourable outcome for all of us…it is the ideal outcome.

I know there are some friends around me who ask me how do they go on a date with this girl or that guy they like.

I think these two blogs are very useful for those who want to know how to go on dates or even to find a date.

Want to know about Dating & Relationships…go to Kloudiia.com

Want to find a date and to have lunch with…go to VioletLim.com….actually Violet’s lunch dating agency’s website is LunchActually.com

“Can you stop behaving like a child?”

“Can you stop being so childish?”

Are these remarks familiar to you?

Couples, be it still in courtship or marriage, exchange such hurting remarks, in an attempt to stop certain behaviours which are deemed as intolerable only to themselves.

What do I meant by that?

Take for example, the girlfriend from young had been given lots of leeway to get what she had always wanted. In situation that she didn’t get what she asked for, she may yell and scream at her parents and the outcome turned out to be positive for her.

Recognising that her behaviour could led to favorable outcome, no doubt she may be using the same tactic on her boy-friend or eventually her husband. Sounds familiar? (These type of people, including guys too, are what we called spoilt brats.)

In another example, the guy, when young, may had seen how his father got beaten or physically abused by his mother. (Nowadays, more and more men get beaten up by heir wives too.)

As a child, the guy may have observed that his father cowered in fear and withdrew from people around him. There may be quite a high chance that the guy, may cope in the same way – withdrawing from others, if he is being bullied by his girlfriend or wife.

Many times as we grow up, we may thought that we may have really grown up. However, psychologically, we may be still coping challenges or difficulties as how we had coped as a child.

Technology advances and our environment improves. However, as for us humans, the ability to cope emotionally is still as backward as our ancestors, the cavemen.

The cavemen may be even coping more effectively than us, not having to think so much and can shout and scream whenever they feel like it.

So, next time, if your partner exhibits certain behaviour such as throwing of tantrum or screaming or shouting or the likes…take a step backward to really understand why is your partner behaving in this way…what is s/he feeling inside…put ourselves in their shoes..show more empathy…(remember I talked about understanding your partner fully?)

a direct confrontation such as an insensitive remark is like adding fuel to a spark to cause an outburst of flame…