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Some people do ask me if growing up in a single-parent family has any impact on me. The answer is definitely yes.
We are after all human being with feelings and whatever loss we experience since young will have impact on us.
To me, marriage is for an enternity and as much as we want it to last forever, we still have to live by the moments, meaning cherish every single moment that we have with our love ones.
We will never be sure how many moments we still have in this world, isn’t it?
There are many times I still don’t really understand why couple divorced… 🙁
Though the time I spent with my dad was a short one, lasting merely for 12 to 14 years, I must say that his influence on me is alot.
When young, I have always seen how my dad showered his care and concern on my mommy. He spent every single moment that he has bringing her on holidays, going for tim-sum (Chinese tea-break) and snapping photos of her.
My daddy really loves my mommy alot and he worked really hard, taking more than ten accounting assignments home so that he could provide more for his family. Yet, no matter how busy he was, he would spent his time guiding me in my studies and he would then worked till late into the night.
My father was a great man!
My mother once told me that despite the time she spent wth her husband was only a short one. However, she always remembers all the things he had done for her…such as looking after her when she was unwell…doing most of the housechores…and strivng so hard to father me from cooking my meals to bringing me home from school…
My father once told my mother that he would do his best to provide everything that my mother deserves…he tried his best…he did his best…
How did it impact me? I remember his words of greatness and love … and I stick to it everyday to the best I can…
Were you born in a single-parent family too? How has it affect you since young? I would love that you can share with me.
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That line mentioning to divorce, appeared to me in this context, or rather methaphor:
‘Why do people fall sick?’
There are reasons we can understand, in some cases, no obvious reason. Some fall sick because they neglected their health, diet, and well being. Some has been born ill-health, and we ask ‘Why?’.
When someone falls sick, he/she continues to neglect his/her health, we ask again, ‘why’?
Perhaps there are hidden lessons for the sick him/herself, or for the people around him/her to learn.
We may not understand the reason, probably because we are never in the state they are in. Everyone make choices and decisions which they think best for the point of event. We are in no place to tell right or wrong.
I have a friend who has been suffering from ill-health since small, there is no explanation, and there is no need to harp on it. I can’t explain why it’s happening to her, the motivation I can provide is not to intervene into the question ‘WHY’, rather, how can we improve on what is left with us to work on. What else can be done to better the situation. I definitely wouldn’t attempt to tell her I understand her pain, I never will.
Everything is so carefully designed to happen in our short journey in life, they happened so that we become what we are today, and what we may become tomorrow.
Divorce is definitely totally avoidable. It takes communication and truth within yourself to at least kick start a relationship. If the two persons have a similar destination, they are bound to reach there, despite the different method of getting things done. If one falls back on the track the other just need to wait up, vice versa, but they are bound to reach the same place.
March 29th, 2007 at 1:40 pmyah..having a common goal is important for the couple to move on and improve the relationship
communication and trust are important too….
support and constant hand-holding….waiting up for each other so both can move together…..patience and understanding are something else that cant be left out
March 29th, 2007 at 11:45 pm