Our first Chinese New Year as married couple was never the same for us despite our past 20 over years of celebration and going through similar routine.

When we woke up, it was our first time of giving a big fat ang pow to my mommy. (not my daddy as he had long passed away.)

When we reached our paternal grandparents’ home, it was our first time …giving of ang pow to the unmarried relatives unless they are older than us by a generation.

My little nephews and nieces were extremely excited when they saw us. Seeing us, for some, was equivalent of seeing a big increase in their collection of ang pows. I can’t blame them as even for our generation, at least for me, we were never taught why was there an exchange of red packets.

To me, when I was young, it was just another big amount of at least S$800 added to our piggy bank.

My married cousin teased me and asked me how do I felt to give out ang pow for our first time. I just gave her a weird smile…”hehe” – duh…but she was funny…she shared with us that she was very very “Happy”…

Okie…now I’m going to give out more ang pows to my cousins…and tonight I can’t join the celebration at my aunt’s place, where we go every year…but we are going back to our in-laws’ place…

and please don’t forget our ang pows and 12 mandarin oranges for them…>.< ..oh I forgot..another ang pow for my sister-in-law...hehe

Yesterday was our first Chinese New Year Eve Reunion Dinner including my wife.

It was a different feeling…a happy feeling to include her in our big family…

We had steamboat with beef, sotong, fishballs, fish slices, abalone and big fat prawns.

The steamboat itself was worth at least $100 per person.

I learnt from my cousin that the abalone was S$148 per piece and the fish was S$58 per fish. The prawns cost S$38 per kg and the scallops was as big as 10 S$1 coin stacked on top of one another.

Every year, I really wanted to find someone to go with me to squeeze or be squeezed in the Chinatown’s crowd. This year, my wife and I decided to start a family ritual, which is to go Chinatown on every Chinese New Year Eve.

One of the “making-marriage-works” principles that I have learnt from reading this book, is to have a family routine regularly. For example, Friday is strictly our day’s off and we will set aside time for each other to have a relaxing night-out no matter how busy we are.

Plus, every night, we will go for a stroll after dinner so that we can spend time with each other to hear or grumble or encourage or simply just be with each other.

Yesterday, we went to Chinatown at 10pm and came back at 12.10am. The place was jam-packed with people. Any water can hardly seep in and people were literally stuck in their positions.

We were smart enough not to squeeze with them and walked around Chinatown area and from across the street, we saw the stagnant crowd of sardines immovable…

Okie..time to call my in-laws and say some Chinese New Year greetings…VERY IMPORTANT for new wedding couples… 🙂

Meanwhile, Happy New Year to all of you!!! >.< Gong Xi Fa Cai!!!

I believe that whatever we do we ought to find a balance.

Even when we are attached and have a new partner, we need to fidn a balance.

When do we spend our time with our sweet heart?

When do we spend personal time to recharge?

When do we spend time with our family?

Lately, I know I have not been posting regularly.

I’m finding my balance…the balance in my life between Married and being myself.

In a day, there is only 24 hours. I spent 8 hours for sleeping, 9 hours at work and 5 more hours to be balanced out spending time alone, with my wife and with my family.

It is easier said to be done.

How many of you do actually feel squashed when wanting to spend time with friends and your partner?

How many of you feel drained after work and still need to take out time to do housework?

How many of you come to the stage of telling others “Just leave me alone; I need a break”?

In a married life, there are many times more things to be done. If you feel you do not have enough time for yourself, be it for leisure or working, I feel you have to spend more time finding your balance before commiting to a married life.

As for me, I find myself doing much more such as attending to the emotional needs of my wife, taking care of my wife’s needs such as buying fruits for her to eat so that she can be healthy, planning activities with my wife weekly so we do have enough time for each other, washing my wife’s laundry when she became too busy, plus reading books on marriage and mothering and about understanding women.

Last week, I spent three days reading this book

It is about how to make marriage works and I will be sharing more in the next few posts.

Showing love to your love one seemed to be extra important on this very special day – Valentine Day…

Boyfriends/ husbands spend extra money and effort on looking for lavish gifts and arranging costly dinner just to give the most romantic dinner to their love ones.

Every lady would want a very romantic dinner…even guys too…guys would want their girlfriends/ wives to arrange an extraordinary dinner for them to make them feel very special and important…

As for us…celebrating Valentine Day started one week ago…

Preparing her Valentine Day’s gifts and arranging to give my wife different gifts on different days make every year’s Valentine Day seem longer than just a day…and we went for our dinner many days ago just to avoid the crowd.

Though it is not on the day itself, but what matter most is treasuring every single moment we spent together.

It is now 12.40am on this very special day and I want to wish every reader of mine a very Happy Valentine Day!

176 pages in all … 70 more pages to go since I started reading this book yesterday night when my eye was a little bit better. Still reddish though but the commitment to understand the opposite gender make me want to push on…

It has been very amazing why there is a saying “men are from mars; women from venus” which is actually saying we are from different parts of the world or simply saying we see our world totally differently.

From the book, I have read that when a female enters puberty period, she has to undergo the tormenting monthly period, a period of pain plus emotional turmoil within herself as her hormones level rise and fall…just in case, if you are a guy and don’t know what I am talking about…I’m talking about the menstrual cycle.

When we were younger, and boys being boys, we were ashamed or shy to talk about these taboo words…but now, it is different for me…

To understand my wife better, ask if I must…going into a lingerie shop with my wife if it provides her the companionship…going to a cosmetic and women’s clothhing shop, I heard, is still a challenge for some husbands who prefer to be security guards for that shop at that moment when their wives are inside…for me, I still go in…even though the shop is swarmed with ladies and I’m the only guy inside…a bit uncomfortable at first but gradually I get used to it….

Back to the unpredictable monthly period ladies have to go through,…Meaning there will be times ladies can be calm at certain part of the days but become totally depressed and snappy on the next day…all at the mercy of the hormones in their bodies…

The reason why I want to read this book is to understand my wife…Lately, I even bought a book about “mothering to have a baby”. Yes…I feel the responsibilty to learn more about my wife and how I could really take good care of our baby in time to come.

Among us when we were younger, there was a constant debate of why not girl serve the army and boys take over child-bearing responsibility so that boys can understand the pain and dedication that girl has to put in just for the child…

Could be quite an interesting exchange and maybe this can be a wake-up call for husbands or even boy friends to really understand the emotional swing of your female partners…

understand them…so the relationships can be a better one…

for those who want to read this book I am reading, you can check it out here. Get a copy for your boyfriend or husband so they can udnerstand you better…>.< The Female Brain