Now is 12.25am and I have just returned from the hospital. This could be a heavy post, a very heavy one indeed.

My grandma had suffered a stroke and it was out of sudden. In fact, I’m not really what I meant by “sudden”.

from yenra.net

Does it mean that it is sudden to the family members or the development to a full-blown stroke is sudden?

Neither can she open her eyes nor move her limps. Her eyes were totally shut. As she struggled for words or even make a sound, her saliva slipped from the corner of her lips.

I held onto her hands and massaged them, only to realise the grip was so strong that I have to use some force to pry her fingers open in order to release my fingers from hers.

I believe the development of her condition was gradual.

She was still well on last Sunday when she attended my cousin’s wedding.

News came out of sudden and I’m not even prepared, not even now.

Ageing is part of life. Death comes together as a package. Some of the deaths came sudden, others came expected.

Actually right now, my mind is confused. And I have no idea what to blog about. I just want to use this post to express my feelings and thoughts.
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I have just came back from a seminar.

The trainer shared about a research done in 1994 by a group of psychologists on 100 pairs of newly wed couples.

from no-problem-marriage-
counseling.com

Each pair had a private room each and they were told to behave normally. They were each observed for 10 minutes.

The psychologists had to finished a questionaire stating the number of priases and put-downs give to each other.

10 years later, the psychologists followed up with this group of couples.

To their suprise, 94% of the couples were either separated or divorced. The couples who experienced marital breakdown were those who gave more put downs than praises.

This research showed that praises are very important elements for a successful and happy marriage.

I feel all of us want to be praised. We want to be praised for the effort we have put in, no matter how insignificant they are.

from theonion.com

We all need praises. So do our spouses.

What you can do right now to improve your relationship:
1. When your husband grumbles about how tired he is after a day of hard work, praise him for the effort he has put in to work hard and provide for the family. And tell him that the family appreciates him alot.

2. When your wife cooks and it may not be that tasty, praise her for the time spent in cooking and in buying of the cooking ingredients.
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Wedding ceremony and celebration is just a moment of happiness.

from dk186.tripod.com

Marriage is for eternality.

During courtship, when the couple is staying in different homes, there is no overlapping of personal space and privacy.

Couples, at this point in time, may only see the good points of each other.

They are still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship.

It is only after marriage, when both are sharing the same room, the same bed and the same house, there is intrusion of personal space and discomfort may arise.

Many married couples ask why it is that their partners had more flaws after getting married.

In fact, their partners did not changed. What had changed is their own perception on each other.

Expectations had increased. Tolerance level towards each other had dropped. There is less forgivings and understandings. There are lots more of “You should be this and that.” and “You must be like this or that.”

from guardianmedia.net.au

After getting married, one should be able to focus more on the partner’s strengths and move along in life. Focusing only on weaknesses and flaws are like slow poison to their relationship.

The Solmeniser shared another interesting story:
“There was once a husband who told the wife to burn the certificate of marriage.
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Relationship before and after marriage is not the same.

from newtco.com

It needs more commitment and a deeper level of understanding what relationship really meant.

What does relationship really mean to you?

Is it just being together as boy-girl friend and we are one couple?

Or is it being aware of what is going on each other’s life and wanting to be a part of it?

Or is it being able to sacrifice oneself for the other party even if dying is part of it?

Just before marriage, holding on to this relationship is my first priority. Making the wedidng works has been my focus for the whole of last year.

It is not easy to hold a wedding. Organising a wedding include communication and understanding of each other. It meant putting ourselves in each other’s shoes too.

I have already mentioned in the past that marriage is not just between two people, but between two families, two futures, two past, two presence.

What do I mean?
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Why does some brides run away from wedding?

Hmmm…I really wonder why…

Could it be because that the bride is unsure of her commitment?

or his commitment?

or everything about the wedding?

What about runaway mothers and fathers?

Never heard of that…did you?

Many parents have in fact run away from their families.

Why do they need to?

Thought they made a wedding vow…

They should be running towards their families, embracing their children and planting kisses on each other’s cheeks.

I’m not sure how many of you who are reading this post now has lost daddy or mommy.

Mine did. God took my daddy away from me.

What impact does it had on me?
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