Now is 12.25am and I have just returned from the hospital. This could be a heavy post, a very heavy one indeed.

My grandma had suffered a stroke and it was out of sudden. In fact, I’m not really what I meant by “sudden”.

from yenra.net

Does it mean that it is sudden to the family members or the development to a full-blown stroke is sudden?

Neither can she open her eyes nor move her limps. Her eyes were totally shut. As she struggled for words or even make a sound, her saliva slipped from the corner of her lips.

I held onto her hands and massaged them, only to realise the grip was so strong that I have to use some force to pry her fingers open in order to release my fingers from hers.

I believe the development of her condition was gradual.

She was still well on last Sunday when she attended my cousin’s wedding.

News came out of sudden and I’m not even prepared, not even now.

Ageing is part of life. Death comes together as a package. Some of the deaths came sudden, others came expected.

Actually right now, my mind is confused. And I have no idea what to blog about. I just want to use this post to express my feelings and thoughts.

Ever since this year had started, I have heard of 5 deaths, about 1 per month. I have no idea how it is for me at this point in time.

Everyone of us has a dream. We want to do something big. We have goals in life that we worked so hard for.

from the-contact-network.com

If you are my age, you would have seen your siblings and cousins all grown up. And the uncles and aunties around you getting old. Plus, our grandparents are ailing and their bodies become weaker.

Let’s pace a bit forward into our life, how it will be for us if we are as old as our grandparents and we look back in time?

What kind of life do we want? If given a chance, would we want to lead our life differently? Would we want to treat our spouses, parents and friends differently?

Perhaps yes, perhaps not. Each of us will have different answers.

Right now, we could only sit and wait. We won’t be able to do anything but to wait.

As we are waiting, each moment will pass. What we were doing a moment ago become the past. And we have the presence to manage. Again, presence becomes past and future becomes present.

Every moment is so short and precious.

I urged each of us right now to spend time with our family members. It can be accompanying each other physically or just having a meal together or calling them to say a mere “Hi”.

We spend time with each other while we can because we never know we can’t anymore.