From Sandra:

“Hi Jhong Ren

Thanks for the reply and for your amazing blog, the information available is pretty comprehensive and useful.

I am currently at the stage of planning my wedding for next year .. toughest aspect is to decide the exact date and to agree on what exactly do we want for our wedding. My fiance is really busy and seems like I have to be the one doing most of the work … I want a simple garden wedding reception while his parents expect a grand wedding dinner with really good food and I just feel overwhelmed and unsupported with the responsibility…..currently at the stage of feeling stressed and afraid that I might become a bridezilla …

Hee .. sorry that I have to offload like that … just needed a neutral party who understands … wedding matters can plan, but relationship issues cannot plan …

Need to be reminded to keep my focus on our relationship … not let all the wedding affairs affect us … want to be there for the long haul … trying my best to keep myself at peace …”

My thoughts:
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I know exercising takes commitment especially when you need to literally drag the other significant half to the park to exercise with you.

Most of the times, we are bogged down with work. Who isn’t?

I’m glad my wife decided today to join me in an evening hike.

I thank her for her commitment as I’m sure it takes alot of thinking through to first put aside her work and join me in my exercise routine.

I know it is tough. It may be similarly tough for you to motivate your husband to join you in something you have always enjoyed.

In a relationship and especially in a marriage, it takes consistency to encourage your other significant half to be interested in your life.

However, before asking someone to be interested in our life, we have to be first interested in theirs.
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Recently, I sent out an email to my readers asking them about the biggest headache they are experiencing while planning their weddings.

I have quite a number of replies and I have taken out the 5 most common biggest headaches wedding couples are experiencing so that we all can learn from their experiences.

I would like to stress that no name is mentioned to protect the identity of the wedding couples.

Headache 1: “My husband can’t seem to be bothered by the wedding planning and I feel so lost. He didn’t even stay with me during the trying of wedding gowns. I don’t even know if he is the right one for me.”

It sounds real bad. Most of the times, ladies just need the reassurance that they look good in their new wedding gowns. It is their first experience and we are all excited over our first time. Who is not?

In addition to that, it is the companionship of someone important to the brides and the process of enjoying the wedding gown selection together.

For guys, they are more goal-oriented and that makes the difference in their shopping styles. They only visit a mall when they know what to buy and where they can find what they want. They go into the mall, grab the items, pay for them and leave.

Ladies like to hang around the malls, try the items if their are clothings, walk around to other malls and talk about their buying experience.

Headache 2: “The biggest problem I’m facing now is the number of tables I need to standby for my wedding dinner and how much money I need to standby for the bandquet just in case I need to fork out any.”

It seemed to me that the number of extra tables is hard to guess. This may arise due to indecisiveness of parents as well as the in-laws on who to invite.

Even for me, my in-laws were not even sure till the last few weeks before our wedidng day. On my side, my mother had to make do with what had been planned by not inviting her friends.

What we had done at that point in time is to give a rough gauge and make do with it.
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Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. How true this statement is?

from istockphoto.com

Men and women worry about different wedding related things. Their wedding related stress is different most of the times even though some matters may overlap.

I remembered when I was planning my wedding, I was worried about money. My parent was nice enough to lend me some to tide over bad times.

My advice is if you don’t have money, don’t get married yet. Bills just come pouring in and being the guy, I would need to fork out most of the money.

Even though we are living in a different era when men and women are supposed to be equal, my practice is that men should pay more of the wedding expenses, if not all.

What else does a guy worry about?

A guy may worry about if the wedding plans go as planned. However, it seemed to me that most of my lady friends were planning their weddings while their husbands-to-be sat back and relaxed.

I remembered a very real story from my friend that her boyfriend specifically told her he won’t be with her during gown-fitting because it was draggy and a complete waste of his time.

At this point in time, I believe her worry was if she was marrying the right man!

Ladies’ other worries may be if there can be harmony between her and her parent-in-laws.

Alot of time we never really know until we lived together under the same roof top. A lady friend of mine couldn’t even stand a week staying with her in-laws after her wedding and decided to move out after that. Reason was unknown.

Sometimes, the main source of stress can come from the brides’ parents. One excellent example is her mother wants to play her role in planning the wedding for her daughter.
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Blogging has not been a waste of my time, especially wedding blogging or marriage blogging.

from willamettephoto.com

Wedding commercials and even insurance advertisements have blatantly advertised that life after wedding to be absolutely smooth sailing.

No quarrels, no conflict. Only bed of roses and kisses everyday.

Wedding blogging has been an increasing trend with more and more wedding blogs like mine sprinkling out of the blogosphere field everyday.

As for me, I feel blogging has allowed me to freely express myself, as long as it is ethical and moral in the law of blogosphere.

It has allowed me to share what works or what doesn’t works for me and my wife so that others can learn or even give feedbacks.

Recently I had a comment left in one of my posts, “Giving In to Each Other“.

It is from one of my readers, Emily and she commented “thanks for your blog on tihs topic. i will oso try to follow what you say to give in more to my boyfriend.because of i used to think that im not in wrong and shouldn’t give in to him …thanks!”

Words like these are good enough for my assurance and encouragement that my wedding blog has been beneficial to one, if not some.
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