From Sandra:

“Hi Jhong Ren

Thanks for the reply and for your amazing blog, the information available is pretty comprehensive and useful.

I am currently at the stage of planning my wedding for next year .. toughest aspect is to decide the exact date and to agree on what exactly do we want for our wedding. My fiance is really busy and seems like I have to be the one doing most of the work … I want a simple garden wedding reception while his parents expect a grand wedding dinner with really good food and I just feel overwhelmed and unsupported with the responsibility…..currently at the stage of feeling stressed and afraid that I might become a bridezilla …

Hee .. sorry that I have to offload like that … just needed a neutral party who understands … wedding matters can plan, but relationship issues cannot plan …

Need to be reminded to keep my focus on our relationship … not let all the wedding affairs affect us … want to be there for the long haul … trying my best to keep myself at peace …”

My thoughts:

“Dear Sandra,

Thank you for your compliment. The blog is designed to help brides (and grooms) minimise the hassle of wedding planning.

I’m glad and proud of you that you are aware that relationship in fact matters more than the wedding planning.

Wedding planning is important and it is still a short term project, one that may last at most two to three years. Comparing to the life you and your future husband have to spend together, the wedding planning stage is a really short one.

I sense that the expectation of a wedding doesn’t match between you and your future in laws. This challenge is really common among the soon-to-be wed especially when it comes to such major decisions.

I remember my mother-in-law was so particular about the wedding date, auspicious time, accomodation of relatives from abroad and many more. The hurdles were numerous even for me. And it really drove me crazy!

The stress that you are experiencing is normal too. It is good to find some close friends to talk it out. Alternatively, you can always find a neutral party like me and email me. I will always be your listening ear.

Continue your daily life as if you are still a single. Don’t be too overwhelmed with the wedding planning tasks. Continue with your hobbies or hang out with friends. These are the other ways you can cope.

Spend some time to talk out your feelings with your fiance. Let him know “you no need any advice.” but just a listening ear and a supportive future husband.

Let him know how you want to be supported. For example, do you need his help to pacify his parents. Or how do you want him to share the wedding load.

It is up to you to sit together with your husband and communicate with him. Let this time be the first few steps to prepare both of you for your marriage life.

It is still a very long way to go.”