from astrologycom.com

Though our society has advanced much nowadays, when it comes to wedding taboos, many Chinese families still do their best to avoid them on such big occassions.

There are some Chinese wedding taboos that I would like to talk about in these few days and coincidentally, there were very similar to what I have heard about while preparing my wedding last year.

7 Wedding Taboos:
1. Compatibility of Chinese Horoscopes
2. Walking under the elder brother’s pants
3. Is this your 3rd time being bridesmaid?
4. Making noise in the newly-wed room
5. Only to have sex at the Right Time
6. Pig Cages
7. Widows are to be blamed

Do look out for the blog posts next few days to find out if you are doing the right thing.

Discuss this in our Romance-Fire Wedding Forums.

Lately a reader and also a friend of mine emailed me asking for advice on choosing a credible and reliable fengshui master.

from beifan.com

Fengshui master, in our Chinese culture, helps to choose auspicious dates based on the wedding couples and their parents birthdates, birth years and Eastern zodiac signs.

In some families, choosing the right date is a life-and-death issue and even if it may fall on some weekdays, some families will go ahead as planned even though it may cause inconvenience to others relatives and friends who are working.

Beside choosing dates, the fengshui master will set aside auspicious timings when the groom has to fetch the bride, when the bride has to return home and when the tea-ceremony has to start.

There are many practices to follow for the believers.

I have heard that for Teochew, the groom has to leave the house at 4am in the morning so that he can fetch the bride at 5am. I think it is quite crazy.

Again it is a custom to the Teochew which must be followed and I respect that.

In fact, for me, I don’t really believe such beliefs.

There are two main reasons that wedding couples seek the advice from fengshui masters.

One of them is the wedding couples truly believe in it.

The other reason is to satisfy the mothers and to stop the constant nagging from them.

Nagging from mothers could be more potent than any other forms of stressor.

For us, we did this so that my mother-in-law can be convinced that the date we choose is the “right” one.

Surprisingly, the fengshui master we consulted advised us that the dates do not really matter at all.
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According to Chinese Wedding custom, a pair of Chinese candles have to be placed by the newly-wed bed.

from wrapables.com

The candles symbolise a long, enlightened life for the couple.

The candles can be replaced with bedside lamps. As time changes, such lamps have been replaced with battery-operated lamps with modernised motifs, scented candles and even votive lamps.

Personally, I feel such Chinese beliefs of having physical items to bring blessings to the marriage life can only means as much what it meant.

Meaning that, if newly-wed couples want a long, enlightened life for themselves, they have to work hard, no less than how much work they had placed into planning their wedding.

So how can newly-wed couples have a long, enlightened marriage life?

There are a few things you can do:
1. Both of you could take turns to join courses of their interests.

Let’s say the wife likes bakery class but the husband doesn’t. They may want to take part in the first year of their marriage. Then, they can join wushu class that the husband has interest. The cycle repeats again in the following year.

2. Weekly dating must carry on.

Set aside a day completely just the two of you. Go out to catch a movie or have a meal at your favourite restaurant. It doesn’t matter what both of you do. What matter most is do it together.

3. Take some time out of eac day to hear about each other’s day.

There is so much happening each day of our lives and we want to share with our love ones. The stories may not always end with happy endings. That is not realistic.
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I came across this link from singaporebrides.com = > Auspicious date

As for me, we did see Fengshui Master and gave him our birthdates, Chinese characters and our parents’ birthdates and birthyear.

Auspicious dates are different for different couples and please seek consulation from professional if you really want to know your auspicious dates.

You will know from the feng shui master:
1. Date and Time for Guo Da Li or Bethrodal
2. Date and Time for An Chuan and Hair-combing for Bride before Actual Day
3. Date of Wedding Day
4. Time for entry of Groom into Bride’s house on Actual Day
5. Time for return of Wedding Couple to Groom’s and Bride’s house for tea-ceremony

I was at MPH a few days ago and chanced upon this interesting book on wedding taboos.

I was once told that for Teochew, if the younger brother was to get married first, the bride and groom had to walk under the elder brother’s trousers before entering the house. It was meant to be an apology to the elder brother that the younger brother was to get married first in the family.

For us, it was meant to have fun and a form of “sabotage” to the newly-wed. It can also be a form of celebration of the completeion of a big project!!!

However, from traditional perspective, it was believed that there is alot of demons and monsters in the newly-wed room and friends are supposed to make lots of noises to chase away all these negative energy.

In addition, divorcess and widowed or anyone who has attended a wake recently is not allowed into the room.

“Just for sharing >.<