I want to share the following email with the response with all fo you so that we can all benefit from the reply I gave o her. I know at this point in time, many readers are submitting thier complaints and frustration through this.

I got this email enquiry from Sheelen

“Hi Jhong Ren,

I am a Dec’07 bride. Am currently looking at banquet venue. Do you have any recommendations?or any forum/blog site which i could view at?

I have recently signed up a bridal package with Feline Bridal during the Her World Bridal Show in Jan 07. I wonder if there is any Feline Brides in your site which could share with me their experiences.

I will be going to the bridal shop next wkend for selection of photographers as well as looking at the gowns… May I know what are the things I should take note of? Am also puzzled on what is the actual/normal payment process to the bridal shop?

Thanks and sorry to prompt you so many questions at once…

Cheers,
Shelen ”

— — — — — — — — —

“Hi Sheelen,

I will do my best to answer your questions.

To look for banquet venue, first you got to ask yourself what kind of ambience do you like? Or have you come across some wedding venues you have been to and you really like?

As for Feline Bridal, I’m not sure. But you can go to singaporebrides.com forum and check under feline bridal .look thru the threads and post your questions and concern.

You can also pop by their shop and ask the current customers how are their service. Something like spot check.

During selection of gown, there must be a “wow” factor when you first see yourself in the mirror. Choose one that fit your personality and preference; not the other way round.

For payment, normally is four times, one deposit when sign the package, choosing of gowns, photoshoot and collection of gowns.

Let me know if there is any more query. 🙂

Cheers.
Jhong Ren”

To my readers, if you have any info that you think can benefit Sheelen or other brides with simlar concerns, please feel free to add them as comments below.

In the past, someone enquire about bridal studios and Teochew wedding custom. Maybe this is helpful for you too.

In my mind, I have tons of contents that I want to share with my readers…

Would you want to know more about wedding planning?

Or would you want to know more about life after marriage?

Or would you want to know how to empower your relationship with your love one?

Or would you want to understand yourself better so that you can understand your love one?

Hmmmm…there is only 24 hours a day and I had so little time to share so much with you. >.<

Last Friday, when I was on a bus going home, I saw this middle-aged lady boarding the bus and standing still when she reached the first empty seat (the first seat nearest to the bus’ entrance)

This lady was standing in the way of others. Among the first few to have boarded the bus, she was preventing about 20 more people who wanted to board the bus.

A young lady behind this lady asked if she can move on so that others can board the bus. But this middle-aged lady snarled at her.

The middle-aged lady quickly put her bag on this empty seat and anxiously looked out of the window as if locating somebody, indifferent to the crowd of peple stuck at the bus’ entrance.

The young lady, given no choice, pushed her way through and accidentally hit the middle-aged lady who very quickly remarked that she was extremely rude to squeeze her way through.

How do you expect the young lady to move to the end of the bus when an elephant this blocking an aisle that can hardly fit a boar?

Later when a middle-aged man boarded the bus, this middle-aged lady hastily and dutifully move into the seat nearer to the window and allowing space for the man to go in. And she shut her eyes to rest.

It was as if nothing happened!!!

It appeared to me that this man seemed to be her husband. And is this how the wife defines “love to her husband” at the expense of delaying passengers from boarding the bus?

Can we justify that what the wife did was right because “she loves him so much”?

Although four days had passed, I still feel that what the wife did was not right though she was doing something “loving” for her husband.

I wonder what else could she do. What do you think?

After marriage, as much as we want to spend time with each other, the other agreement that we have is to respect each other’s personal space.

What do I mean by that?

Irregardless of during the period of courtship or being married, every one of us still wants to spend time alone and still do things we like to do.

A married friend once told me, when his wife wants to go out shopping or meet old friends, she still tells him. However, she is not seeking the husband’s permission but because she respects him and that is why she is telling him. In addition, the wife must inform the husband where she is going and what time she will be back so that the family won’t be worried if she comes home late.

Likewise for the husband, he can still go for his brothers’ gathering or go to some places he frequents when he was single. For example, he can still go to bookshop or catch a show alone if he enjoys that.

I have seen many couples wanting to change their spouses. “Why can’t you be like? Why can’t you be like that?”

Would you like it if your spouse want to change you…completely? I don’t think so. We don’t like to be changed. If changing is so easy, then the earth will spin upside down.

People are resistant to changes most of the times. We like to be who we are…be in equilibrium…to be in stable state.??

Having just married, we are still doing fine adjustments here and there. We still meet our own friends, do things we have always enjoyed…and many times….giving each other lots of personal space to grow and rest…

” I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife/husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness. ” – from myweddingvows.com

Yesterday, I attended my cousin’s solemnisation. The words that the solemniser said and the wedding couples repeated and vowed their life to them sounded so familiar.

I’m sure every married couple who went through the solemnisation do in some ways, still remember certain part of this marriage vow.

Let’s take a closer look at the marriage vows again – “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.”

I’m wondering how much do the couples really understood them when they read it? …What do you think?

My understanding is – “to look after my wife everyday, making sure she is well and taking good care of her when she is not. to look forward to the time spent with her…to embrace her wholly including her strengths and flaws and with no expectation of changing her…and to live each day fully…as if it is my last day…”