photo from betina

Learning about wedding planning has always been steep. The learning curve is really steep.

It is just like giving you a text-book for a new module and wanting you to sit for exam in 3 months’ time.

Everything is hasty. Time is short. And there is so much to learn. And the worst thing is that we do not know what we don’t know.

Do you know everything you need to plan for your wedding?

Even if you know, do you know how to go about doing it in the most effective manner, taking into consideration that you do not have much time left.

I know you need to work, some need to study and others need to take up 2 jobs at least for financial reasons.

And the majority has a grumbling mother-in-law at home to manage well.

Manage well and you will get a good life. If not done well, you know the kind of life you will get after marriage.

Ok, back to the topic for today, with so many tasks to handle, how do we really get to maximise the little time we have in our hands.

Here are 4 ways you can go about planning your wedding.
* * * * * * * *
1. Definition:

Do you know the tasks that are needed to be done? If so, have you defined them in a manner that you know exactly what to do and how to go about doing it?

The tasks to do are immense from managing people to taking care if the wedding favors are here to if the venue is still available.

If you are not a detailed person, you may find it torturing to go into the tiny details every task has.

Even if you are a detailed person, it can be very mind-draining to do the many tasks over the long period of time. Maybe 3 months is fine but what about sustaining your energy and keeping yourself sane for 12 months or more.

So define your tasks properly.

How do you go about doing it?

Write on paper and describe each task in 15 words or less. Do not be too long-winded. Be clear and concise and with the next column, write in point form exactly what you need to do.

For example:
Column 1 – Visit wedding venue to confirm booking
Column 2 – Will visit on Tuesday and spend at most an hour to:
1. confirm booking
2. pay deposit of $X amount.
3. sign contract

* * * * * * * *
2. Elimination:

Even if you have 101 things to do, do you need to do all of them?

Le’ts say you need to get the cheapest wedding favor and must you source all the possibilities before you decide on which wedding favor to choose?

No, it will be insane to do that. Then, what if you have been spending 2 weeks to source for them and you still can’t find them, do you carry on finding?

Sometimes, we need to consciously tell ourselves that it is ok to move on and let’s pick the cheapest favor out of the choices we have now.

I know everyone has an ideal wedding concept and we do our best to fit our real wedding to our plan. However, there are other times we have to learn to let go of our decisions.

I know I have a friend who asked her brother to fly to Japan from Singapore just to get the corset that she wanted.

I find this ridiculous!

And for wedding custom wise, there are some family practices we need to adhere to. We do our best to and there are times that we can’t.

For example, your in-laws want a real suckling pig for our Chinese wedding. However, we know that it is costly and it can be quite a waste to buy the whole pig just for the 5 family members at home. So, the alternative is to use a red packet as substitution.

So, in this manner, you eliminated the time spent to source for the right roasted suckling pig and the trouble to transport it to thier home.

The wedding stress is endless and there is always new reasons to be stressed. So do eliminate certain tasks if you find that there is a better way of doing things.

There is always room for negotiation.

Other areas for emlination of tasks can be batching things up. Do a shopping list and just make a single trip to buy all that are needed to be bought.

Batch up meetings with wedding vendors. There is no need to meet for small matters. Tell your vendors and helpers to consolidate all matters and update or discuss in a single meeting.

You can even eliminate the need to meet. Ask them to email you and you inform them that you will reply them at the end of the day. By doing this, you will check your emails after all of the vendors email you and you check in one shot.

Learn to batch your tasks up.
* * * * * * * *
3. Automation:

Learn to rely on help. Be open to asking for help.

You will need help as this is a mega-project and you need a team to support you.

Helpers can be immediate family members, relatives, close friends and so on.

Learn to find trusted and responsible helpers and give them the autonomy to decide for you and also get back to you if neccessary.

You will be surprised when people are given more power to decide, they will do the job better.

Trust them to understand you and to update you when neccessary. That is why you need to find helpers who know you.

Teach your helpers to say “I will decide for the bride about this matter. I will still check with her and will only get back to you if there is a change in decision.”

This allows the helper to inform the vendor that the decision is still susceptible to changes and if they didn’t hear from them again, the decision is final. So there is no need for the helpers to get back to the vendor again if the bride agrees.

Let your helpers take over some roles of yours and let them run on their own. And at the end of the day, thank your friends for helping you.
* * * * * * * *
4. Liberation:

Liberate or free yourself from the hassle of re-making decisions. Whenever you have made up your mind, tell yourself that everything is final.

I know there will definitely be comments and opinions from third party on the color of their gowns, the venue they chose, the favor they like and so on.

Remember, there is no need to satisfy everyone or anyone.

You just need to satisfy your needs and wants.

It is your wedding afterall.

Whenever you hear comments that may change your decision, just take them with a pinch of salt and move on.

There are many more things to do till your wedding date.

So move on.

In my wedding planning guide book, there are many more short-cuts you can learn about planning your own wedding and enjoying at the same time.

So how do you juggle between your wedding planning and your work? I would love to hear from you. =)