In life, we always want to be the best, always competing with the people around us.

When we are young, we compete against with our peers and siblings.

In the office, we compete against with our colleagues.

After we got married, sometimes we compete against with our spouses.

We are always competing. And we thought that we will never compete with the person we adore most. However, such competition is unavoidable in some marriages.

In a family especially in this era when the salary of both husband and wife can be the same, if not the salary of the latter can be more.

I wonder how does a man feel when his wife is more capable than him, earns more than him and is better than him in many ways.

Lets say for instance, my wife’s salary is more than mine and I’m in a career which many see as there is no future for me, I do feel quite depressed most of the times.

It was especially so when my mother-in-law was asking me when I will be switching line.

In Hong Kong, social work though amicable, can be seen as a lower grade career. The people who are in engineering or law fields are seemed as more “successful” and more “capable”.

What do you think?

I know it is very hard to be compared, especially when you are being compared to something or someone else.

What if you are clerk and your wife is a director?

What if you are just a house-husband and your wife is a CEO?

What if you are just a nobody and your wife is the sole bread-winner of your family?

How will a man feel?

Being a man, I know all men are egoistic creatures. Men have a lot of issues of preserving their “face”.

Women in general have always wanted a man who is more capable than them and preferably can bring home more money than them.

I was talking to a friend online and she gave the following criteria of her future husband:
1. Must be ambition
2. Must be caring
3. Must be sensitive to her needs
4. Must be loving
5. Must be able to give her a sense of security
6. Must be able to embrace her strengths and flaws

If you are not married yet, what are your criterias for your future husbands?

If you are already married, do the above criterias meet those of your current husbands?

I know these criterias are for an ideal husband. However, sad to say such man is hard to be found nowadays.

I know many couples are disappointed about their spouses. They wake up one morning and wonder how come their spouses have changed and why they have so many weird habits and flaws.

Many times, the spouses themselves also forgot that they have flaws too.

Marriage is about embracing the person as a whole package.

There is no money back guarantee. There is no refund.

What I can suggest is embrace your spouse as a whole. Accept who he is as a unique individual, someone who you have vowed to love and take care for the rest of your life.

I know it is not easy. It takes perseverance and commitment to make a marriage work.

Work still needs to be done and there are many things that one can do to add sprinkles of love and joy in a marriage.

And I will tell you how you can do that tomorrow.