Many times, people mistook wedding as complete tied-down. The women are tied to the families for the rest of their lives. Men committed to the families for life.

from fortburnett.com

Men and women dished out their dreams, aspirations and hopes. Men and women forgot that they were once individuals. They forgot they were once children and children love to dream.

I have female friends who after their weddings wanted their husbands to give up their dreams of making it big so that he could spend more time with his family.

After their weddings, some men wanted their wives to give up their careers to be full-time home-makers.

In our world at this era, these don’t make sense at all.

Only the rarest gems will say “yes”. So if your spouse says “yes”, you are one lucky person out of a million.

Would you want to give up all your goals after getting married?

Personally, I believe husband and wife can work out a plan to support each other’s dreams.

My wife wants to learn pilate and dancing. I wanted to learn more on Internet marketing and do more volunteering work.

This year, we picked up pilate for 3 months. Next year will be my time to choose what I want to learn and she will accompany me.

She wanted to learn driving and I’m willing to sponsor if I have the money.

Right now, now and then, I remind her that she has to finish learning driving because I know it matters to her.

I know eventually she wants to be a designer. I told her many times she can’t be a designer.

It is unfair to herself.

She has to be or in fact, she must be the best designer she can be.

In our family, a common practice is we encourage each other to be the best who we can be.

We support each other’s dreams.

What about you? Do you know your husband’s aspiration? Do you know your wife’s dreams?

They certainly have. It is just that at this point in time, they momentarily cast them far away, after taking up new roles, as husband or wife.

Yes, your spouse is committed and both of you are going through a transition. Give yourselves enough time for transition. Do not be too hard on yourself.

Eventually, when everything settles down, your dreams will re-surfaced. So will your spouse’s.

What you can do right now:
1. Ask your spouse what their dreams are.
2. Be interested how their dreams came about.
3. Draw a plan when they will want their dreams to be realised.
4. Give your spouse assurance and encouragement that you will be with him or her all the time.
5. Tell your spouse outcome is not important. Tell your spouse what matter most is your spouse did her best.