There will no doubt that whatever you may have done is useless.

from chinatown.com.au

Wedding planning is about planning and re-planning. Marriage too works in this manner. There is no one planning that totally works.

I understand that most getting married couples may have to work. It is not easy to cope with the stress that comes from work, wedding planning and the family members.

Wedding planning is about both parties making decisions and taking the stand together.

I remember while we were planning our wedding, there would be multiple times that our parents interfered with some decisions we made “out of our own good”.

I have also heard of some stories that some parents manipulated their children’s decisions and they wanted their children to work accordingly to what parents had planned.

Many times, I wonder if the outcome will differ if the couples stand together and gracefully “confront” their parents, explaining why they had made the decisions. Moreover, they should also garner support from the parents and assure them that everything will turn out fine.

This important step marks the first step in making decisions and standing together as they progress into marriage life.

However, I seldom heard that couples use the second method. Instead, they wanted their spouses-to-be to give way and this normally angered them and made them lose confidence in their relationships.

The worst scenario is the wedding being called off as the couples felt that they were not ready for marriage.

What I find it useful for my relationship:
1. Hear each other out without making any judgement
2. Listen to the difficulties each other may be facing (e.g. unable to communicate with parents)
3. Any feeling such as feeling of insecurity, not supported?
4. What are the outcomes we wanted?
5. How can we come to a compromise?
6. Ask what we can do differently next time for a better outcome?