It is not easy to really listen to someone grumble of what happened to him or her in day and stay objective-minded and be sane enough not to give solutions.

Just constant nodding will be helpful enough unless the speaker asks for some suggestions or advice.

It has been 2 months plus since our wedding and everyone has been asking me what is different for me…

For me, I just want to continue to be who I am plus I want to have the power to embrace my wife wholly, accepting who she is and being there for her wherever she needs me.

Everyday, we have a routine of going for a walk of about 1 Km and while walking, we chit-chat, as if we were still in courtship period, listening, really listening to how each other’s day was and the feelings behind what had happened.

I know many people just want to give solutions to help the person but how many times did we shun away from such solution-providers because we felt that we are not heard?

As for me, I feel after everyday, we are all very drained, emotionally and mentally sapped by whatever good or bad incidents that had happened since the break of dawn.

Likewise, for me and my wife and being normal humans, we are not sparred from this similar daily routine we had to go through together with billions of people in the other parts of the world.

After each day, we had tons of things to share or things we are not very sure about and just want to talk it out. From each other, we garner strength and reassurance to push on to the next day.

It is a daily commitment and I’m not saying we are so disciplined to follow our routine everyday…sometimes, it is ok to give it a miss and we rest at home when we were too tired…

But what I want to share here…is I would want to do my best to stay committed to listening to my wife, really hearing her…and be there for her in times of springs and storms…

Lately, I have been racking my brains with many books (an average of 300-pages book in about 10 hours)

…books on passages and stages of life…books on psychology and self-actualisation…books on feminity and marriages…books that can churn up so much turmoil and emotion in me and force me to re-look into every corner of my life again to wonder if I have lived everyday to my fullest…

At this very moment, I am asking myself
-“If I were to be re-born in this family and to re-live every single day of my life being enmeshed inside this constant question of who I really am, will I still want everything to be the same?”

Looking back in my life and looking at other people’s lives, it seemed that everyone’s life has his ups and downs; blessings and struggles.

No one’s life is completely smooth…

A brief peep into my life (uncensored thoughts):

“Everyday is tormenting for me with surprises coming to greet me, good and bad. Torment that comes from my inner voice….topping up by my anxiety that I seemed to never get away from…an inner voice to stop me from speaking my mind, an inner voice that stopped me from being my true spontaneous self…an inner voice that impedes my progress…and constantly throw me back to square one…

Being raised up in a single-parent family, my only idol is my mother…who has painstaking raised me up over these years…no amount of giving back to her can compensate the amount of tears, sweat and blood she had lost while raising me up. Even losing my life for her will not suffice…

My dad left me when I was 14…but his influence and impact on me was strong and deeply-rooted inside me…I only remember what my mother shared about what my dad told her, “I know I can’t give you everything; I will do my best to give you what you deserve.”

Right now, I hold on to this invaluable lesson dearly…making sure I deliver the same thing to my wife…

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This Chinese New Year was an eye-opener even to someone like me who had been celebrating this special occasion for the past twenty over years.

There are many more family practices we have to abide by and for me to learn.

For example, we would need to bring at least 8 Mandarin oranges back to in-law’s place with other gifts like abalone, bird nest and a box of chocolate.

Going back to the in-laws’ place for reunion dinner had to be planned 1 month before so that we could compromise on a date that can fit all. The reunion dinner was to be done on the day before new year’s eve as new year’s eve itself is reserved for the husband’s side.

After the reunion dinner, we have to come back with 8 oranges, 2 fried fishes and 2 big pans of carrot cakes. According to Cantonese custom, the wife has to return with lots of gifts so as to show that the wife’s side has a wealth of food to eat and even bring back.

Now, the next thing is for the in-laws to visit our family. It was really hard to fix a date as both of us have to be back in office to work…in holiday mood of course plus by the time my in-law leaves my house, it will be very late at night and it is only by then my wife can do her work.

Hmmm…I also don’t want her to sleep so late cos it is very unhealthy for her…but how to tell her parents? >.< Hmmm...what to do...and do you know what is one thing that even great man finds difficult to do...that is to talk back to her mother-in-law

I saw this thread from singaporebrides.com and the ownder has given me permission to put this link in my bog:

So here you go…https://new.photos.yahoo.com/rhododaktylos_mos/album/

Here are more photos:

https://www.photographybyeulee.com

wedding shots at Dubai

I got this from singaporebrides.com
=> Wedding show at Holiday Inn Park View on the 21 April 2007