We are both working. Working adults are busy. Stress from work. Loads of paper to clear. Numerous datelines to clear. Most working adults are half-dead when they are about to leave the office.?
Those with children have to take care of them. Although tired, the children still want to spend them with the parents. Working take up about 12 hours a day. 6 hours is for sleeping and the remaining 6 hours is for chores, settling matters, shopping, rest, more sleep perhaps…or do paperwork that has been brought back from office.
Many couples seldom spent time each other. After marriage, the time set aside for park-tohing (dating in singlish) is almost non-existent. “We are so busy with our work and so dead tired..where got time??”
I know it is not easy to consciously set aside time for each other. For me, Fridays are always blocked off no matter how busy we are. No work..no topics on work…just going out and spend time with each ohter… or just sitting together in living room and watching tv/ comdies/ variety shows and laughing together…the point is whatever we do doesn’t really matter…what matter most is the time spent with each other…so after reading my post, won’t you put aside some time next week to spend with your love ones? And what will both of you be enjoying together?
Exploring places which sell good food is one of our past times.
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This blog won’t be complete if I just post the positive side of a relationship. Conflicts and Happy moments come in a package. The tools of handling the conflicts and whether you know how to cherish the Happy moments are learnt during the relationship.?
We have our fair share of disaggrements and conflicts and misunderstandings. Which couple doesn’t? If there is, better watch out. A dormant volcano may suddenly erupt with a very very loud BOOM!!! And the mess will be hard to clean up. It is always easier to clean up the mess that come in small amount now and then.
Don’t know what I am saying? I am referring to the quarrels and arguments that may come now and then and catch both of you off guard. Not managing well may bring your relationship downslope.
Lately, we have some issues that we disagreed on. It led to some arguments. I won’t really say we shout at each other like what we see in TV dramas. But we negotiated and mediated among ourselves. We kept cool and kept our volume down. Remeber to phrase your words properly. Don’t say “You”. It sounds threatening and sound pushing the blame on others. Use”I”…I feel this, I feel that…Lots of clarifications on what the party is saying.
We talked it out and constantly reminded each other that we are tackling the issue, and not against the other party. Phrase your sentences, no harsh words…or else you will regret!!!
Easier said to be done. Sometimes, the disagreement may tun sour, almost turn sour recently. And it could have spoilt our day or even the weekend. We make it a habit to settle conflicts or any disagreement on the day itself. No spilling it over to the next day. It won’t do any of us good. May bring the doctor more money because we may get headache.
I’m glad the “ordeal” is over. We learnt about what acceptance really meant to us. It means accepting us of who we really are, the good and the bad points of us. Remember in my earlier post? Marriage is the marriage of 4 persons, the couples as an adult plus their inner child.
I’m grateful to have such an understanding fiancee. I’m very lucky to have her and I will cherish her everyday. So even though both of us are not perfect, we are still who we are and for this we are unique – a unique couple!!! 😀
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It is really a headache to find the photographer. Maybe I got high expectation? But once in a lifetime le. The skill of the photographer must at least be better than me. :p
For me, taking photos is like telling a story. It requires patience to capture the right moments. Each photo shows a captured moment. Many photos tell the whole story. It is not easy. It requires patience and sharpness. Out of 10 shots of the same scene, maybe 1 or 2 will be the better ones.
For me, I was asked to take photographs for free for one of my friends’ ROM. This is one of the photos I can share with you. It is a pillow with the wedding bands on top. For those who are preparing for weddings, remember to get a pillow. It could be part of the freebies from the bridal package. If no, you got to get one, either by borrowing or getting a new one.
Pillow with wedding band
The next photo is a picture of my cousins when they were attending my other cousin’s wedding dinner. As typical teenagers, their eyes were always glued to their mobile phones.
The fruit tarts served during the ROM
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Everyday, we took a bit of our time to discuss something related to the wedding no matter how tired we are. We delegated the tasks and encouraged each other to move on.
For example, it is not easy to find the bridal studio, hotel or photographer we like. For me, I did research on more than 15 hotels, visited about 3 and went back home to discuss for about a week. It is not just convincing each other but ALSO convincing each other’s families.
Different person has different concerns and opinions. It is like telling others why our decision is the best. It is not easy.
I had a friend who quarrelled everyday with his fiancee over financial matter. The other even thought of calling off their wedding. Some asked me if they can’t even handle a simple couple-project, how can they handle the rest of the journey after marriage. Some fear marriages inside because of the committment and the loss of “freedom”. Marriage is totally different from courtship period.<.div>?
There will be many thoughts, anxiety, worry, anticipation and concerns. Some even married due to some hidden agendas.
Marriage is not just related to individual. It affects everybody once the two families interlock each other and in the future, when the couples have their children. Don’t understand why nowadays people look for divorce as an easy way out. But this will be discussed in future postings.
So now, we move on. Hope we will settle the issue on the photographer/ videographer soon!!! By next week, I hope!!!
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Today, my fiancee had made an appointment with the photographer. What we were looking for for the first meet-up is the “clique” and “chemistry”.
This photographer is very humble and has not much of experience. He is more on the quiet side. We would want to have someone who is a joker and got good PR skill because he will be the one making everybody feel comfortable around him and then, his photos will be nice. Can you imagine our guests and us feeling uptight to have our photos taken?
Eileen and Steven when they had their ROM last year (2005) in Sept
As for me, having been an amaeteur photographer for the past 2o years, I am more demanding when it comes to photography.
My photographer needs to be proactive to capture moments. It could be a smile on someone’s face or a crowd laughing at a corner of the house. Each photo must be able to tell a story. It is not easy to reach that kind of level as the photographer must always be moving around and have “sixth sense” to be prepared for the right moment and click the camera.
Meanwhile, I think we will have to carry on our search for our photographer. Gambatte!!!
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