Lately a reader and also a friend of mine emailed me asking for advice on choosing a credible and reliable fengshui master.

from beifan.com

Fengshui master, in our Chinese culture, helps to choose auspicious dates based on the wedding couples and their parents birthdates, birth years and Eastern zodiac signs.

In some families, choosing the right date is a life-and-death issue and even if it may fall on some weekdays, some families will go ahead as planned even though it may cause inconvenience to others relatives and friends who are working.

Beside choosing dates, the fengshui master will set aside auspicious timings when the groom has to fetch the bride, when the bride has to return home and when the tea-ceremony has to start.

There are many practices to follow for the believers.

I have heard that for Teochew, the groom has to leave the house at 4am in the morning so that he can fetch the bride at 5am. I think it is quite crazy.

Again it is a custom to the Teochew which must be followed and I respect that.

In fact, for me, I don’t really believe such beliefs.

There are two main reasons that wedding couples seek the advice from fengshui masters.

One of them is the wedding couples truly believe in it.

The other reason is to satisfy the mothers and to stop the constant nagging from them.

Nagging from mothers could be more potent than any other forms of stressor.

For us, we did this so that my mother-in-law can be convinced that the date we choose is the “right” one.

Surprisingly, the fengshui master we consulted advised us that the dates do not really matter at all.
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My wife’s cousin will be holding her wedding dinner in November this year.

She has just sent us her wedding photos and we must say, we still love their Hong Kong photographs.

They are totally different from Singapore’s photography style. Previously, I posted my wife’s friend’s wedding photos taken in Hong Kong.

Hong Kong’s wedding gowns are much more beautiful and have more variety.

Some local friends of mine, who have deep pocket, do fly to Hong Kong to engage their bridal services.

Some even had their make-up artists and photographers flown to Hong Kong with them.

If you are engaging their services and using their services in overseas, you would need to pay for all their expenses such as lodgings, food, air-fares and transport.
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According to Chinese Wedding custom, a pair of Chinese candles have to be placed by the newly-wed bed.

from wrapables.com

The candles symbolise a long, enlightened life for the couple.

The candles can be replaced with bedside lamps. As time changes, such lamps have been replaced with battery-operated lamps with modernised motifs, scented candles and even votive lamps.

Personally, I feel such Chinese beliefs of having physical items to bring blessings to the marriage life can only means as much what it meant.

Meaning that, if newly-wed couples want a long, enlightened life for themselves, they have to work hard, no less than how much work they had placed into planning their wedding.

So how can newly-wed couples have a long, enlightened marriage life?

There are a few things you can do:
1. Both of you could take turns to join courses of their interests.

Let’s say the wife likes bakery class but the husband doesn’t. They may want to take part in the first year of their marriage. Then, they can join wushu class that the husband has interest. The cycle repeats again in the following year.

2. Weekly dating must carry on.

Set aside a day completely just the two of you. Go out to catch a movie or have a meal at your favourite restaurant. It doesn’t matter what both of you do. What matter most is do it together.

3. Take some time out of eac day to hear about each other’s day.

There is so much happening each day of our lives and we want to share with our love ones. The stories may not always end with happy endings. That is not realistic.
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In Chinese Wedding, there are always reception tables for the guests to ask about their table which they will be sitting at.

In addition to that, this is a time when guests will give red packet or ang pow as a gift to the wedding couple.

There is money in the ang pow. If you are just a normal acquantaince or fellow colleague, the amount of money is about S$80 to S$100.

For very good friends, they may give about S$120 to S$150.

For relatives, they may give from S$200 to S$2000 depending on the closeness and relationship.

Some relatives may even give to S$10,000 to the wedding couple.

At the reception table, there is an ang pow box when guests can slot their red packets in.

There is always a close relative or family member who is incharge of the box as the amount of money in the box may build up to S$40,000 for that night.

I have heard of con man who posed as relatives and divert the attention of the person who is in charge of the box. The con man may lied that the groom told him to take over and he ran off once he got hold of the box.

You may choose to do-it-yourself or buy a ready-made one.

How you can do a ang pow box for your wedding?

You need to get a box for A4 papers, a piece of wrapping paper, glue and a decor.

For the decor, you may be able to get wedding bears, dolls, angels or any item you think is suitable.

Here are some ang pow box designs you may want to follow:

from singaporebrides.com

from blissloft.com

In Singapore and much according to Chinese customs, the bride has to wear a Chinese traditional wedding “kua“. There will be 2 times that she will be wearing. One during the photoshoot and the other on the wedding day when the bride returns home from the groom’s house for the tea-serving ceremony.

?My future mother-in-law knew how to see what is a good “kua”. She is very particular about the worksmanship and the design. Her mother (my fiancee’s grandma) used to make “kua” for a living when she was young.

My mother-in-law was very disappointed with Singapore’s bridal studio’s kua and she rated it as poor.?

The kua that my fiancee got looked quite old as it had been worn by many wedding couples in the past. There were some small tears, but the staff reassured us it will be mended. She also said that the holes would be too small to be seen by the camera during the photoshoot. Is this statement supposed to make us feel safe?

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