photo from davemmett

“I’m with someone else…it is not your fault…it is mine…”

How many times have you heard these statements in tv shows exhibting infidelity?

The man and woman move on in their own separate lives, as if nothing happens. Some may attend some marriage counseling and they still move on their lives after a few sessions.

Is everything fine then?

Or is something happening deep inside them and they don’t want anyone to know the emotional turmoil they are feeling inside?

Let’s take a step backward and explore what is the cause of third party affair.

I have heard of a story that a woman is seeing another guy and she has been married for 40 years.

Strange, isn’t it? 40 years and that is a long time. One really wonders how come she is only now seeing another man.

Another story I have heard: the man is seeing another girl and he was married only for 2 months.

As Dr Ellen, who provides online marriage counseling service, has said “For over 20 years I’ve helped couples understand the reasons why infidelity has happened and how to prevent it from ever happening again. I have never found a case where a man or woman woke up one day and spontaneously decided to go out and have an affair.”

I truly believed what she had said.

Something must have happened along the way and it caused the result of an affair.

And to be equipped enough to help manage such matters, we have to trace back and understand what is the cause.

And it is never about the money or whether the 3rd party is better looking.

So what could it be?

It is about feeling, simply how one feel when he or she is with that person.

Have you ever heard a woman said she felt so sexy when she is dating this guy she loves?

Have you ever heard this man said he felt really good beside his wife who always praise him for whatever small things he did?

We all love to feel special and different and we are always seeking for this type of special feelings whether consciously or on the sub-conscious level.

Personally, I feel it takes destiny for two special individuals to come together and be married to each other. Though knowing the presence of infidelity can be a painful matter, I feel it is appropriate to go for save marriage counseling.

Take this opprtunity to turn your pain into determination to make your marriage works better from now onwards and I also hope that the best way is still prevention – which is to love your spouse the way you love her on your first date.