What do You Do When Trashed By Mother-In-Law?
I had an unpleasant experience this noon when my mother-in-law called me and gave me a 45 minutes lecture over the phone.
It was not an experience that anyone wants to go through.
You feel trapped. You can’t tell her to shut up and neither can you hang up the phone.
You can if you want to have a tough life ahead.
As for the reasons why she was so super mad, I shall keep it brief as it was not so ideal to wash dirty linen in the public.
We haven’t been visiting her for a couple of while and she was furiously mad.
I have many thoughts running through my mind when she was lecturing.
You know about the fight or flight mode we go throuogh naturally when we are in “danger”.
I feel my life is endangered while listening to her.
It was worst than public speaking and I felt myself drowning.
My voice was trembling as if I was badly shaken by the whole ordeal.
Oh dear, I wonder will this post scare the hell out of some wedding couples who have monstrous mothers-in-law?
I was comtemplating if I should tell her the turth just to soothe her. In the end, you know what I did.
I did this which makes her vent all her negative emotions out and eventually she hung out the phone and all I say is”Urh” and “Yes”
It was indeed the toughest call I have made. Oh my, worst than making those darned cold call I have made in the past.
If you can conquer this call, you can do any cold call to anyone.
Another stupid happened just as I was leaving my centre. A stupid young fella walked past our centre, pressed the bell and ran off. I shouted at him and cursed him in my mind.
What a way to end my day?
I thank you for “hearing” me out by reading my post. I still feel mad for having to be caught in this kind of situation. But now I do feel better a bit.
I hope newly-wed couples who are reading this post are not truamatised by what I have described.
It may be better. Or it may be worse.
One thing that I learnt today: If the husband is caught in the line of fire between the two ladies, the ideal solution is to come out with some “white lies” to alleviate the matter.
Yes, you may have committed a sin. But the intention is good so as to avoid a catastrophy.
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My mother will nag or lecture me if my hubby did anything she dun like , or didnt do what she demanded / requested. Then i will find ways to tell him … she doesnt want him to dislike her .. she also said : He is ur hubby .. u r responsible to “teach” him this & that , of cos i scold u not him la. haiz … stressed … i feel like a sandwich. My hubby is 7yrs older than me .. so sometime he also not very willing to listen or let me “teach” him … he is those very straight4ward person , everything shown on his face .. which is my mum dun like also … she wan him to “act” , “wear a mask” .. so people will praise that she have an excellent son-in-law .. *faint* ..
September 7th, 2007 at 6:20 amlooks like it is not easy for you, irynbabe…how come mothers-in-law are so difficult to handle?
looks like we need to get a PhD in managing mothers-in-laws…
i know some men are very egoistic…they dont like to take “lessons” or lectures from women….
so in the past, what was something that you did make him listen?
September 7th, 2007 at 7:00 amMy hubby listen to me when we were dating, whatever i say he listen attentively (maybe he 1 ear in , 1 ear out, i also duNo , haha) , sometime i felt very unhappy cos i felt that he listen to his brothers / buddies more than me , but when he in later part realized that what i said is way more reasonable & do him good then he will apologize to me that he should have listen to me in the 1st place …
September 18th, 2007 at 12:23 pmu didn’t mention about ur wife. How did ur wife react to this incident of urs?
Rule of thumb…deal with your own mothers. ^_^ (husbands, deal with your own mother with regards to your mum and your wife’s issue. Remember, protect your wife because she is number 1 now. Wives, deal with your own mother with regards to your mum and your man’s issue. Remember, protect your man because he is your number 1 now.) ^__^
September 18th, 2007 at 12:49 pmto iryn – i know it is really hard to come to a compromise….and im glad ur husband finds you more reasonable…
for my wife, think she apologized on her mom’s behalf….and mentioned it is really hard for me….anyway, their relationship is not that good….so i suggested a meet up since it is my father-in-law’s birthday….a good “excuse” to spend time together and minimise the tension
to claudia – wow…u summarised what we need to do in such simple and beautiful words….well said….just becos we are number one and we need to be protected….not easy to be done…but will remember it 🙂
September 18th, 2007 at 1:03 pm