How Many Transitions will there be..after Wedding?
How many cross road will there be after wedding?
Or you being married….which transition in life are you at now?
We have to face changes in our lives many times over whether we like it or not.
There are making new friends…new girl friends or boy friends…a wedding to go through…setting up a new family…
Even after marriage, when the wife moves into the husband’s home, there is alot of adjustment for her too…such as fitting into the family’s routines…waking up early to do marketing…doing the housechores…etc…PLUS meeting the expectations of parent-in-laws.
Likewise for the husband, the wife’s family may have different expectation on the new “son”…such as abiding by their family’s rules and guidelines…contributing to the family’s expenditure, calling the parents “mommy” and “daddy” and so on…(I’m sure you, as you are reading this post…you do have more to contribute…)
I was reading this post from from this blog that because they are in the process of relocating, the author, who is the husband, has to stop blogging for a period of time…Hmmm…after that, he will have to spend another period of time to readjust and also making sure his family is getting used to the new environment…
Married couple, for the very first time, have a taste of getting familiar to their new surrounding…not just because they have moved into a new house…but most importantly, they have started to live close to each other…
Last time, they were dating once a week or at most twice…
Now, the couple sees each other almost everyday…there will certainly be intrusion into each other’s personal space…
For me, my personal space is very big…partially because being the only child in the family and I have my own bedroom and study room all to myself…
To help me to get used to another person around me…there is a lot of readjusting to my cognition…such as “Now, I am married” is definitely helpful for a start…plus “I enjoy my wife’s companionship every moment…” and of course reading and re-reading my favourite book on making marriage works to the fullest!!!
For those of you who have siblings, it doesn’t necessary mean that it is easier for you to readjust to the world of only two persons…sometimes, the constant nagging from one party can unconsciously trigger the memory of how she or he was nagged by the parents in the past…and the response in both situations can be the same…sometimes, snapping, unknowingly, do take place…
Sounds familiar? Was there a time you experienced your partner snapping at you for no reason?
I would love to hear from you. >.<
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Guess life is impermanence, so is change. We didn’t feel it more when we were younger, because our young minds were in the learning stage, and hungry for knowledge. As we grow older, we develop more and more ‘comfort zones’, we develop more ‘life patterns’ which we deemed best for us (some may even think it’s best for anyone else). Thus, Changes meet Resistence.
My husband and I still keep our own personal spaces, as we know we need to keep that ‘Self’ intact, while incorporating ‘partnership(s)’ of the marriage. Our worlds do not evolve around just each other. That works for us.
The ‘changes’ were discussed before marriage though, trivial yet powerful things. I am not someone who calls my partner and ask about the details of his day schedule, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. We discussed inititative and examined that when we put ourselves into each other’s shoes, we will take the initiative to act upon accordingly. We can’t force ‘Responsibility’ to anyone, if they are not ready, we however, know that ‘concern’ is a large portion that make up marriage. So if he does inform me of his schedule, I take it with grace that it’s a caring thought he is rendering to me, as he understands my care for him too.
Sure hope marriage helps us grow with each other.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:43 ammutual understanding and respect is important…respect each other’s beliefs, values, habits and spaces give breathing space for both to function normally..
we tell our partner our schedule not to seek permission, but because we respect each other and we choose to tell them that
March 29th, 2007 at 11:47 pm