There is a definition of “The Butterfly Effect” from a book by Ian Stewart:”The flapping of a single butterfly’s wing today produces…a tornado that would have devastated the coast…”
Very simple, it means small changes can have a dramatic effect or outcome over time. What does it got to do with relationship and marriages?
One small action, gesture, smile, kiss…any subtle body languagecan be interpreted differently by you and your partner and it can change the thought which will lead to different feelings…and to certain behaviour…and to certain outcomes.
For example, the husband had a bad day and might be recalling the day’s bad experiences in his mind. The wife was preparing the dinner and had been spending the whole day marketing and preparing the ingredients. A lot of effort was put in. The husband, having no appetite (as a result of the stresses from work) told the wife he doesn’t feel like eating. The wife felt not appreciated and become frustrated and started to quarrel with the husband.
Many times, little misunderstandings like this were not settled within that same day and the negative feeling become pent-up emotions which were eventually brought to surface in future conflicts. Today’s unsettled issues are used as future ammos for arguments.
What I want to say is disagreements are common in a relationships because both were brought up differently over the years and have different values, opinions, beliefs and so on. These leads to different perceptions of similar events.
The key to resolve conflicts is communication between both parties, with both parties taking their turns to speak out their thoughts and feelings and the other to listen with their heart, not just with the ear. Able to resolve present issues will save lots of future challenges in the relationship.
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