As the title suggests, we date the adult who is always on the best behavior. When couples got married, most married with high expectations that may tumble down fast. Some expectations can be unrealistic like must spend all his/ her time with me, must be able to read my mind, must know what the other spouse is thinking, must tell me “I love you” everyday (if not may think the spouse doesn’t care for the other anymore). and the list goes on.
Many times, while we were growing up as a child into adult, we may have more of certain things and may lack other things. For example, the husband may come from a family that doesn’t openly show love such as hugging. However, for the wife, she grows up among family members who hugs each other as way of showing care and concern. After marriage, the wife will be expecting the husband to hug her all the time (and the husband may feel uncomfortable in the first place or he may assumes one or two hugs will suffice.) Then, the wife may get angry and the husband may feel akward. Then, they may end up quarreling over the number of hugs she deserves. Yes, this is the presenting issue. But they have not understood the underlying issue is the different environment both are brought up as a child.
For those of you who feel this is confusing, do be fair to yourself and allow yourself enough time to process and digest what you have read. I feel this book can help us understand many couples each other better. Hope this info helps!!!
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