When the wedding plans heat up and start becoming the only topic in the bride’s home, it would be easy for you, as the bride’s mother, to begin to take over the arrangements and bring some sanity to the excitement.
Your actual responsibilities are to see that the wedding is a total reflection of what your daughter wants for her wedding day. That includes keeping her tastes in colors, flowers, food, music, her choice of wedding dress and the very tone of the ceremony and reception foremost in your mind. While it would be easy to try to shift some of the arrangements to be more like your wedding, you have to remember that this wedding is hers.
To start with, there are five primary responsibilities for you to tend to as the Mother of the Bride:
* Helping your daughter decide on her wedding dress is a major task that will, more than likely, require both of you. If your daughter falls in love with a certain gown and it is not to your taste, it would be best to support her decision, unless it makes her look like the Bride of Dracula. If so, you are on your own.
* Another important responsibility that needs to be exercised as early in the wedding plans as possible is helping the couple create their wedding budget. Money is always difficult to discuss, but a very precise and clear budget will save trouble later on and will define the couple’s expectations. Traditionally the bride’s parents pay for the entire wedding and your available finances need to be taken into consideration.
* Make contact with the Mother of the Groom, if she doesn’t do it first, and plan to meet and discuss the wedding between your children. With all the traditional exhilaration around your daughter and her friends, the groom’s mother might feel left out of the festivities. You will be connected with each other for a long time, sharing grandchildren and holidays, so reaching out to her and forming a friendship will save a lot of stress later.
* The guest list should be organized as early as possible so the invitations can be ordered. Be sure to get the groom’s list and to check with his mother for additions.
* It is also your responsibility to make reservations for out-of-town guests. You are responsible only for the guests you invite. The groom’s family is responsible for those on their guest list. Weddings are very popular during certain “nice weather” months and the earlier you can get the guest list settled and acceptance from your invitations, the earlier you can reserve the rooms you will need. Early reservations can sometimes be discounted from the hotel. Ask when you are checking room prices.
Completing these preliminary five tasks as early in the wedding preparations as possible will relieve you of a ton of stress at the last minute. Every day closer to the ceremony will bring new problems and complications that will inevitably fall in your lap. Making a list and marking off completed tasks will keep you on track.
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