from suplada

As we approached the mid year, I began to reflect back how fast our time passes by.

It has been more than 2 years since we got married.

To me, it was as if it just happened yesterday.

How memorable!

At this moment in time, I am thinking back of the many ups and downs we as a married couple go through.

Definitely, there are times of sadness and tears and I will be lying if I tell you there isn’t.

And in the midst of all these tears, there are tears of joy and happiness. Moments of laughter.

I have always been a strong advocate for continuous self-growth. And I also made a silent promise to myself on my very wedding day that I will help my wife to reach her full potential.

It is not easy.

Helping her to grow also means that the quality of my marriage grows as well.

Easier said than to be done.

1. Reducing my wife’s stress

In our work, we bound to have lots of stress and how we wish we can find a big barrel to contain it.

This is the easy way out. A way to escape and to pretend the stress is never there.

However, for me, I do my best to share with my wife on how to manage her stress.

(Notice that I use the word “share”, not teach or educate. In our marriage, we share knowledge with each other)

I feel if we are able to learn how to cope with the feelings we have as a result of the stress, it will be half the battle won.

Many times, it is due to the fact that we can’t cope well that aggravate the uncomfortable feeling stress has brought.

2. Weekly keep FIT time

To be able to be happy, I feel it is important to keep our body fit.

Stress from work and our other stressors will deplete us of the energy from our body and soul.

If there is an outlet, there must be an inlet to replenish the energy lost.

Both my wife and I signed up for weekly “Cardio Mix” exercise program.

There are two benefits: one of them is to keep us fit and the other is we get to spend time together.

3. Dream Chasers…do you still chase your childhood dream after getting married?

I have always wonder why do some husbands and wives want to possess the other after marriage.

The possession may take place at the subtle level – at the unconscious level.

“Why aren’t you home late?”

“Why didn’t you pick up the phone after 2 rings?”

“Why is it you only think for yourself? What about me and how much I sacrifice for you?”

“Why are you always like that? You have changed!”

Do these sound familiar to you?

Managing of our spousal’s expectations must be done with care.

Somehow, after marriage, it seemed to be that there is an assumption that we can place our interest before our spouse.

Our spouse is not longer “important”. We are more important. Our interest goes before theirs.

:???

Before I go off, let me share with you a story.

There is this man who sat down one day and began to look in the future.

As he was thinking, he began counting the number of years he may get to spend with his wife.

With the number of years, he folded paper stars and placed them in a nice-looking transparent glass vase.

Every year passed by and as they celebrated their wedding anniversary, the man took out one star from the vase.

As years passed, the level of the stars dropped by almost a few inches.

As the man saw this, every year he cherished his wife more because he is still counting the stars every year and the number got smaller and smaller…from 30 to 20 to 10…

Then one day, the man no longer got the chance to take the star out at one of his anniversary.

The wife is not there anymore and soon, the man also died because of loneliness and because of how much he missed his wife.