Who has Control Over My Wedding?
Wedding day was meant to be the happiest day in a person’s life…
But sometimes, too much practices and concerns can tear this wedding day into shreds…making us both Happy & Sad 😕
I’m talking about family beliefs and practices…
Different cultures have different practices…
Some dialect groups aren’t even sure of what they have to do and they hear from here and there and came up with thier own practices which they deemed as “100% real and guaranteed and MUST DO”
I had this experience from my mother-in-law that she mentioned we must not have sliding doors for our cloth cabinets because it will block out good luck. We must have have doors that pivot at the edge, just like older days.
There is another more interesting one that we must not have the cushion placed at the end of the bed or we will “quarrel very often”.
My reaction…”Huh? :?”
Many times, we have to say “yes” to our parents and meanwhile. move ahead with our own plans.
In this new generation, there many many tradition wedding practices that are long forgotten. However, some families still practise that.
For example, for Teochew, the groom, being the younger one to get married, must together with the bride, walked under the elder brother’s trousers before they enter the house.
As times passed, we, the post-war babies, distorted and twsited the practices to something more fun and more to our taste.
Traditionally, the friends have to disturb the wedding couple in their room because it was believed that there are demons and evils inside and so they must be scared away by the loud noises.
Now, friends disturb the wedding couple because it was fun!!!
I remembered while planning our wedding, we have different inputs here and there from different aunties, grandparents and even our own parents.
And, all these deafening noises, which are supposed to be for “our own good”, turned out to be very stressful for the couple. The worse things is that the people who gave these inputs are not sensitive enough to notice.
So there are alot of times, we have to cover both our ears..and maybe eyes…and remind that we have to plan our life…we are growing up…and we got to take control of our own lives…
Sad to say, not many people have the luxury to do the same thing like me.
Some parents threatened to sever the ties if their children don’t follow the practices. Others curse and swear at their own children plus the spouse-to-be…
These emotional threats are even more hurtful to the children, especially when they are coming from their very own parents.
As for our sliding doors and cushion at the end of the bed, we had both in the end…my mother-in-law in the end didn’t say anything…and we really thank her for that.
Wedding planning, in conclusion, isn’t easy.
Have you come across any practices in your own home? I would love to hear from you…
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