Calling “Mommy” After Wedding
Do you know one thing that the strongest man fear to do?
…make a guess…
…
…
…
…
It is talking back to his mother-in-law.
I believe many married men shared my cup of tea. Not just married men. Does any boyfriend dares to defy his girlfriend’s mother?
>.< After marriage...this is what happens
(My colleague once quoted…wedding rings are the smallest hand-cuffs that you can find.)
One of the greatest challenge, based on research, is maintaining the relationship between the spouses and the in-laws.
This challenge’s difficulty escalates especially just before marriage when the in-laws may have regarded the bride or groom to be their children and start to think they have rights to treat or even discipline them as their own children.
This is the part when situation becomes trickier.
I still remembered when I fetched my bride, even before I had done so, my mother-in-law exclaimed in excitement to tell me to call her “Mommy”.
It was hard as in my eyes, I only have one mommy who is my real mommy.
Still, up till now, I called my mother-in-law mommy just to satisfy her and my tone was formal when I addressed her.
It was hard to call someone mommy or daddy when you are not ready. Some of my married friends took a month or two to get familiar or comfortable. Some took a few years. Some never did.
Hmmm…still in a married life, this is just one of the many exciting challenges getting to be conquered by us…lets us get ready…>.< And this is one book I will want to keep by my side to help me...
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JR, guess it’s not just for the husbands, it applies to the wives too. My parents are very understanding towards my husband though, and they know it’s not easy to call someone else’s parents ‘mother’ or ‘father’. I guess I will have to take that credit to pre-educate them before the stumbling of my husband took place. By telling my mum how difficult it is for me to call his parents ‘mother’/’father’, it made her understand that it would be difficult for my husband too. They were very lenient when he initially still called them auntie, uncle.
Hey, know what, when I reached my husband’s place for tea ceremony, I was also told the same thing by his mum! We called our in-laws differently from our own parents. We call our own parents ‘dad’, ‘mum’, then we will call each other’s parents ‘mother’, ‘father’. It’s just a little ‘painful’ to know my parents now have to share out the uniqueness in their roles are our parents.
I took time to talk with each of them (including my in-laws) individually and in the most cosy and casual manner. The objective of the small talks is to share the thoughts of each uniqueness of their roles, and that by getting married, it doesn’t change the fact that my mum gave birth to me, my dad fathered me, vice versa for husband.
Mainly I was hoping that no one attempts to force me to think otherwise. heee.. subtle approach does go a long long way.
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:54 pmHey Lissy, thank you for your comment…i agree with you…nothing can change the fact that our parents have brought us up and it may take a long time , maybe even years for us to call our ‘in-laws’ mommy and daddy genuinely!!!
March 23rd, 2007 at 3:17 pm