Yesterday, my fiancee and I did two things:
1) Went to House of Etiquette to check on the rental of kua
2) Went to Chinatown Complex temporary site to buy the customary items
Was dead tired when I reached home. And was “rewarded” with scolding from mom when I reached home.
She scolded me for many things…
1) not updating her of what I have done (my inner thoughts: contradicts to what she told: “I will leave all decisions to you.”)
2) not telling her about my problems (hello…this is the family norms…we solve our own problems….how could you expect I tell you my problem and for the past 12 years, you never told me yours?)
3) Plus she always ended off our one-way conversation from her that “I always rebut against her” (how could you expect me to comfortably share with you my problems when everytime you said I rebut against you?)
Throughout the whole of 1 hour of lecture, I kept silent with my back facing her. My mom kept on complaining she can’t stand the stress from the wedding and she is going bonkers. And she expected me to understand that.
I doubt I can or ever will. She never give me a chance to and with her commanding tone whenever she speaks to me, I had always shut myself up and out. Whatever she said enters from one ear and comes out from the other.
Plus, now I’m facing some personal challenges now. work, study, wedding and many more issues running wild in my mind 24/7. It is not easy. Inside me, I’m crying for help. And yet, I can’t turn to my family.
Today, I was out of the house the whole day…hoping to find some peace…which at this moment, my home can’t provide me with this. :_(
Hopefully, things will get better soon…
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