Having conflicts are natural. It is healthy to have conflicts.

“What? Are you nuts?”

Looking back at my fist 9 months of marriage life, it has not been easy.

I’m not saying that we are in crisis or any similar form. Thank goodness we are not.

While looking at the days we have walked through together and effort we have put in, I could say we can score about 6 upon 10. (Still lots of room for improvement, you know.)

What we have done so far:

1. A gentle stroll round our house

I remember that we made an effort to stroll around the estate every night without fail.

These are personal times we could catch up with each other.

There are so many things to talk about. I just don’t understand how come older couples find each other bored. Maybe they just don’t want to talk. Just maybe.

Every day there are so many things going on. I just can’t wait to tell my wife about it when I reach home.

However, I must confess that it is not easy to be consistent. There are times we are very busy or one of us is busy. There are times that we simply forgot or are not bothered about it at all.

We need each other to constantly remind us now and then.

2. Exercising regularly
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I was thinking for the whole night what is difference between my wedding blog compared to other more popular ones like weddingbee.com and ohjoys.blog.com. They are always recommending wedding items to buy or wedding items other brides use, in my own opinion.

To pull oneself through the ups and downs of wedding planning, there is more to getting the tasks completed and items prepared. I feel brides and grooms from across the globe need more support in terms of emotional aspect.

I feel more can be shared on how you can sustain your flame with your spouse while planning your wedding and after marriage. I think my wedding blog will be sharing with you more on relationship tips to sustain marriage for the newly-weds.

OKie, I digress abit. Tomorrow is 1st September which has always been Teachers’ Day when students from all schools celebrate.

There will be celebration in schools. And for those more favored teachers, their desks will always be packed with gifts and flowers from students who adore them.

For those who are more hated or dislike, their desks will be empty. Thus, Teachers’ Day is a the judgement day when teachers’ popularity are measured in relation to the gifts they received.

Once a year, teachers’ efforts are rewarded. However, it is only on this day that we, as students, show our appreciation to the teachers. I hope not.

Similarly to our anniversaries when we first meet our wives, when we first kissed, when we first held hands, when we first got together as an official couple, when we got married and so on, is it only on these “special” days that we reward our spouse with tender, loving care.

In my own opinion, everyday should be a day when we treat our spouse with the utmost love she can get, as if it is our last day on earth.
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Men and women are not alike. Men will never understand why women talk so much and can feel so much. And women will never understand what is in a man’s brain. (Not necessarily sex all the time.)

However, there is a similarity between men and women. (Thank God there is some way to talk sense into women somehow.)

The similarity is something each of us wants and really wish for. Do remember this after your wedding.

Do you know what it is?

It is called “respect”.

Each of us wants to be treated with dignity. We don’t want to be spat at and neither do we want our esteem to be tattered.

All of us want to be treated with the utmost respect.

And so do you, be it you are a man or woman reading this post.

After posting this post, a reader emailed me that “wow, you can read a person inside out and won’t it be scary? Aren’t you manipulating other people’s feelings too?”

I don’t think so. Neither do I see as a manipulation of feelings. I prefer to see it as a conscious effort to place my spouse’ position in all discussion.

As the cliche says, put yourself in other people’s shoes. It is very true indeed.

Those couples who are not conscious about what they say and not say (their non-verbal) are actually doing more harm.

Let’s say you may be unaware that you are infact rebellious even though people see you as soft and easy-going. Part of your nature may be ready to retaliate, possibly because at home you never had the chance to in front of your authoritarian parents.

So one day, your wife said something in a similar stern tone as what your dad did in the past to you as a little girl. Something in you is triggered and you barked them without hesistation and stormed off.
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“Life is boring.” most couples would say.

“There is nothing else to do.”

I personally believe there is so much things you and your husband can do together everyday.

1. Unwind Together
For a start, after a busy day at work, you and your dear can sit together over a cup of Earl grey and update each other about the days’ happenings.

Do allocate some time to share and hear from both parties so that both husband and wife have equal amount of time to share and unload their emotional barges.

We won’t want so much of over-talking from only one party, leaving no chance for the other to unwind at all.

2. Sleep Together
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My friend Stuart Tan wrote a post on the relationship between relationship and business.

I always believe that a strong relationship starts at home.

For those men who want to succeed in business, find a good wife who love you and can take good care of your family.

Of course, in return, you have to respect and love your wives even more.

Do look around you at those succesful businessmen. Most, or in not all, have a stable and loving family at home. When they go to work, they are very assured that their families are well-taken care of at home.

What about those with problems at home?

Or let’s look at yourself. How do you feel when you quarreled with your girl-friend or wife and then you go to work?
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I know many of my married friends have never done houseworks in their lives.

Before their weddings, most have domestic helpers at home to do their houseworks for them from folding their clothes to picking up their shoes which were strewn around the house when they got home.

After married, what will happen to the newly-married when both of them do not do any housework in the past?

What will happen to their kids?

I remembered one of my female friends who told me that her mom’s cooking was one of the worst in the world. She doesn’t even know how to light the stove.

These poor children were so deprived of their mothers’ cooking. They have everything in the world but they had never tasted what home-cooked food is like.

That is pathetic, isn’t it?

So, I urged that newly-married couples must do the housework and not outsource it in any way from engaging their mothers’ maids to clean up their house once a week or eating outside food for 365 days in a year.

I know doing housework may not seem to be part of the wedding contract. But welcome to the reality. You are going to move into your new house and there bound to be housework to be done because it is a house unless the house can work by itself and it is not mostly to be.

So, wedding couples, after their weddings, really have no choice but to do their houseworks, whether they like it or not.

So here are 37 reasons to help you justify why housework must be done:
1. Increase sense of ownership of the house
2. No one, except yourself, knows what can be thrown or not
3. Up-keeping of hygiene
4. Do you want to have cockraoches as pets? If not, you know what you need to do.
5. Bonding between husbands and wives
6. Learning to delegate tasks
7. Practice assigning responsibilty e.g. wife cooks and husband washes the dishes
8. Something to look forward to at the end of the week
9. Exercising time
10. Can help to reduce your tummy and it is FREE!!!
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Here are my 37 Ways to Live With Your Spouse Daily: (I will be compiling this list to 101.)

1. Kiss each other good morning
2. Make breakfast for her
3. Close the door if she is still sleeping so as not to disturb her
4. Go for morning breakfast together
5. Go for a morning jog
6. Read the morning newspapers together
7. Plan the day’s activities together
8. Do house chores together
9. Let the husband sweep the floor while the wife mobs the floor
10. Make the bed together
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