Some ladies jump at every opportunity to be bridesmaids. Some need to carefully think about it for some time before they commit to the task.

Here, we are seeing 2 different types of bridesmaids.

From experience, we were lucky that my wife’s bridesmaids were very committed and responsible. Part of the smooth running of our wedding was because the bridesmaids ensured that the wedding day schedule was followed closely.

Even, some male friends were asked to be “bridesmaids” and they were very helpful in being drivers as well as helpers in other aspects.

For the first type of bridesmaids who always self-nominate themselves, it is quite pssoibly some may want to use such opportunity to flaunt themselves and even over-shadow the brides.

Thus, there is a taboo being created to restrain wannabe brides: the bridesmaids must not be more beuatiful than the bride.

However, this is not to mean in physical aspect but it actually meant that the bridesmaids must try not to have too heavy make-up or to wear too revealing clothes.
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from images.della.com

According to Chinese wedidng customs, it is always ideal for the elder brother to get married first, followed by the younger ones.

However, there will be times when the younger brother get married first. It is unrealistic for him to forgo his wedding plan just because his elder brother has yet to find his ideal life partner.

In such circumstances, the elder brother has to “give way” to the younger siblings and let them tie the knots before him.

There is a ritual that the younger brother or sister had to crawl under the elder brother’s pants before stepping out of the house.

The significance of it is to show the approval of the marriage by the elder brother and the younger sibling could then be happily married rather than openly resented.
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According to the Chinese horoscopes, we have 12 animals signs. And depending on which year each of us is born in, we have a different horoscope sign.

There was a belief that two dragons cannot be staying together as they are both very fierce and domineering and will not give way to others.

There were also other beliefs that a wife with “Tiger” sign as her horoscope will be always bullying her husband who is a “Chicken”.

Nowadays, people date not based on their horoscopes, but most probably love at first sight or after getting to know each other better.

In ancient China, people used 6 pairings of horoscopes as guidelines for couples who wish to get married.

The incompatible ones are Rat and Horse, Ox and Ram, Tiger and Monkey, Rabbit and Rooster, DDragon and Dog and lastly Snake and Pig.

The reason is simply because of “clashing” horoscopes and the married couples won’t have a “good” married life.
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from astrologycom.com

Though our society has advanced much nowadays, when it comes to wedding taboos, many Chinese families still do their best to avoid them on such big occassions.

There are some Chinese wedding taboos that I would like to talk about in these few days and coincidentally, there were very similar to what I have heard about while preparing my wedding last year.

7 Wedding Taboos:
1. Compatibility of Chinese Horoscopes
2. Walking under the elder brother’s pants
3. Is this your 3rd time being bridesmaid?
4. Making noise in the newly-wed room
5. Only to have sex at the Right Time
6. Pig Cages
7. Widows are to be blamed

Do look out for the blog posts next few days to find out if you are doing the right thing.

Discuss this in our Romance-Fire Wedding Forums.

Lately a reader and also a friend of mine emailed me asking for advice on choosing a credible and reliable fengshui master.

from beifan.com

Fengshui master, in our Chinese culture, helps to choose auspicious dates based on the wedding couples and their parents birthdates, birth years and Eastern zodiac signs.

In some families, choosing the right date is a life-and-death issue and even if it may fall on some weekdays, some families will go ahead as planned even though it may cause inconvenience to others relatives and friends who are working.

Beside choosing dates, the fengshui master will set aside auspicious timings when the groom has to fetch the bride, when the bride has to return home and when the tea-ceremony has to start.

There are many practices to follow for the believers.

I have heard that for Teochew, the groom has to leave the house at 4am in the morning so that he can fetch the bride at 5am. I think it is quite crazy.

Again it is a custom to the Teochew which must be followed and I respect that.

In fact, for me, I don’t really believe such beliefs.

There are two main reasons that wedding couples seek the advice from fengshui masters.

One of them is the wedding couples truly believe in it.

The other reason is to satisfy the mothers and to stop the constant nagging from them.

Nagging from mothers could be more potent than any other forms of stressor.

For us, we did this so that my mother-in-law can be convinced that the date we choose is the “right” one.

Surprisingly, the fengshui master we consulted advised us that the dates do not really matter at all.
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According to Chinese Wedding custom, a pair of Chinese candles have to be placed by the newly-wed bed.

from wrapables.com

The candles symbolise a long, enlightened life for the couple.

The candles can be replaced with bedside lamps. As time changes, such lamps have been replaced with battery-operated lamps with modernised motifs, scented candles and even votive lamps.

Personally, I feel such Chinese beliefs of having physical items to bring blessings to the marriage life can only means as much what it meant.

Meaning that, if newly-wed couples want a long, enlightened life for themselves, they have to work hard, no less than how much work they had placed into planning their wedding.

So how can newly-wed couples have a long, enlightened marriage life?

There are a few things you can do:
1. Both of you could take turns to join courses of their interests.

Let’s say the wife likes bakery class but the husband doesn’t. They may want to take part in the first year of their marriage. Then, they can join wushu class that the husband has interest. The cycle repeats again in the following year.

2. Weekly dating must carry on.

Set aside a day completely just the two of you. Go out to catch a movie or have a meal at your favourite restaurant. It doesn’t matter what both of you do. What matter most is do it together.

3. Take some time out of eac day to hear about each other’s day.

There is so much happening each day of our lives and we want to share with our love ones. The stories may not always end with happy endings. That is not realistic.
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I came across this link from singaporebrides.com = > Auspicious date

As for me, we did see Fengshui Master and gave him our birthdates, Chinese characters and our parents’ birthdates and birthyear.

Auspicious dates are different for different couples and please seek consulation from professional if you really want to know your auspicious dates.

You will know from the feng shui master:
1. Date and Time for Guo Da Li or Bethrodal
2. Date and Time for An Chuan and Hair-combing for Bride before Actual Day
3. Date of Wedding Day
4. Time for entry of Groom into Bride’s house on Actual Day
5. Time for return of Wedding Couple to Groom’s and Bride’s house for tea-ceremony