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Reasons and Causes for Divorce

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There are many reasons for divorce and many times most cases can be salvage.

I am not here to teach you how to argue and win every time.

One can never win every time. And sometimes giving way to each other also means you have won.

How often do you argue with your spouse or partner?

What do you normally argue about?

Sometimes, the roots to these are from very minor stuff like different habits.

You want a good example?

It can be as stupid as the type of perfume the wife uses.

Take for instance the wife likes a certain brand of perfume. And it happens that the husband is allergic to the smell and keeps on sneezing.

Using common sense, the wife just needs to stop using it and there won’t be any sneeze.

What if the wife doesn’t want to give way? The husband started to whine and gave a remark like this “If we can’t even compromise on this, let’s go our separate ways.”

What will your reaction be if you are the wife?

Oh no! He doesn’t love me anymore.

A little disagreement erupted in cries and tears and both husband and wife dig out all the past unresolved issues and add on to the fire.

The volcano spills out more lava and there goes the marriage.

This scenario sounds really stupid and even kiddish and sad to say, this happens every day to any one or even you.

There are hundred and one things to disagree about. The body odour, the type of tea they prefer, the tv channels they want to watch at the same timing…the list just goes on.

In fact these don’t just happen in marriages. These happen in all relationships, be it for couples married for a long time or couples who are just engaged to each other or even couples who have just been together for a couple of weeks.

When a relationship is formed, expectations on each other becomes higher and tolerance level reduces.

A lot of times we have to learn to give way and compromise. I want to stress that giving way doesn’t mean you are weak. It has to be done because the relationship matters to you.

Sometimes, if you sense that an eruption is going to happen, you just need to brush it aside with some humor.

It is what I do and it works.


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One Response to “Reasons and Causes for Divorce”

  1. 1
    Ebohr Says:

    Encouraging acceptance and humour is great advice.
    It is wonderful that you are able to do this but for those who do not handle conflict well there are a practical strategies for dealing with disagreement and conflict so that you can address issues rather than create distance and disappointment.
    Research on successful couples identifies their handling of conflict as a key ingredient to relatonship happiness. As I work as a relationships counsellor I have seen how important the experience of conflict is and if you’d like to see a recent article I’ve written for couples see: http://www.commonground.net.au/Article_Conflict_In_Relationships.html

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