Making wedding works is more than preparing the wedding tasks and fulfilling them.
It is going to be tiring and frustrating!!! Very frustrating!!!
These tasks are simple to do. The hardest part is how to get your soon-to-be spouse to remain supportive all the way. And not just till the wedding.
There is still a very long way to go.
I have always told brides and grooms that the mini-quarrels they have during their wedding preparation is just the tip of the iceberg and it is normal to have disagreement once in a while.
More will come along the way and in bigger quality and quantity!!!
My wife and I do have conflicts too and this is absolutely normal.
Couples who tell me over the tele-consultation that they have never argued before in their lives are abnormal.
Why having conflicts while preparing wedding is healthy?
It creates opportunity for them to learn about conflict-management. If you don’t learn now, then when is the “right” time.
It is like those people who are smooth-sailing in life wil not know how to tackle problems when they arise.
Wedding planning is very stressful because tasks come and go in big loads. However, it makes a difference when two (both bride and groom) are working hand-in-hand and tackling every challenge that comes along the way.
If one refuses to tackle and stand up for the other, you may want to take this chance to seriously reconsider who you are marrying to.
Marriage is a long way of blissfulness and uncertainty. It takes two to go through together and to survive till the end of times.
Leaving one along the way is a definite no-no. It is no doubt an act of irresponsiblity and failure to perform the spousal role.
So what makes you so certain of the person you are marrying is the right one for you? If there is no support from that person now, what makes you so certain every word of the wedding vow is clearly understood and deeply embedded in the hearts even after marriage?
Again, you are the best person to decide. So we respect your choice.
So how do we reduce the quarrels to almost zero?
1. Respect both as unqiue individuals with different values, beliefs and expectations
2. Verbally express you need support. Not many humans are psychic and neither is your spouse
3. When quarrel arises, one must learn to give way. Giving way is not admiting you are wrong. You are doing it because the relationship matters to you.
4. Learn to use humor to push away conflict. Pull a funny face or say “sorry” in a humourous way.
5. Forget and forgive just because you love each other so much.
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