Yesterday, I had a dinner gathering with my best of friends and one of my friends’ sister will be getting married really soon.
It will be about 2 months before their big wedding day.
They have bought an apartment in the extreme west side of Singapore and the place is currently undergoing its renovation.
However, this is not the point.
My friend mentioned to me that his future brother-in-law had in fact told his future wife to quit her job.
And he didn’t even say “Hi” to the family members who answered his call to my friend’s house. He just bluntly asked for his wife and hanged up if she was not available.
Hmm, it is very interesting observation before their wedding. I know of how some people change their attitude towards the in-laws and their families only after their wedding day but not before.
The two issues that we could discuss here are about how some men behaves before their wedding days:
1. Asking his wife to quit the job
2. Being respectful to soon-to-be spouse’s family members
I’m not sure how many women had sacrificed their jobs because their husbands said so. I will never ever request my wife to quit her job. If she doesn’t like it, she can quit. However, if she really love it, I am going to support her all I can.
I know of some husbands who require their new homes to be near to their parents’ homes. And this is one of the reason why my friend’s sister have to move to the extreme west area.
My friend mentioned to me that his sister has been doing quite well in her current job and there is no way she is going to change her career.
In addition to that, the husband specifically chose their new home to be near where he is working. Oh, what a “gentleman”!!?
I think it is really hard to come to a compromise where to stay. It is not just the decision between the husband and wife. It includes the families from both sides, especially the parents.
Being Chinese, we don’t really openly express our actual opinions. Likewise for our parents, they will use their children as messengers who will bring message to the family of the other side.
Secondly, for the fact that this man doesn’t really make it an effort to say “Hi” to the family members, somehow tells me that he doesn’t really respect them.
He could have just say “Hello” and perhaps, out of politeness, ask the family member how he or she is. The conversation may not necessary last for an hour or so but just a mere few minutes of friendly exchanges of words of concern.
I have heard of stories of men who pretended to be really “nice” to the in-laws to be just to win not their daughter’s heart but the in-laws’ hearts. It is really sad indeed!
I have been thinking for the whole day, “What if my future son-in-law can be like that?”
How should I test him?
These are my 5 Ways to Test Him Before Their Wedding Day:
1. Call him that I’m not well and see if he is willing to take me for my doctor’s appointment
2. Watch him how he take care of my daughter when she is well
3. Watch him how he take care of my daughter when she is unwell
4. Watch him how he treats old people
5. Watch him how he treats children
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