Have you ever realised that once after marriage, your tolerance towards your spouse’s flaws dropped drastically?

from plan4divorce.co.uk

I think it is a common phenomenon among married couples after their big wedding day. They find faults so much easier in their marriage life compared to their courtship life.

In courtship days, things are still so much magical, pleasant and the reality of life had not set in yet. Couples only come to realise that their partners, being so human, only have flaws that normal humans do have.

I have to admit that I am guilty of doing this too and admiting it doens’t mean I’m wrong. We all make mistakes and it is only scary when couples claim that their relationship is forever conflict and argument free.

It is even worse when they say they never took each other for granted before.

There are alot of times our expectations towards each other elevated over the years and we easily get grumpy when the hidden expectations on our spouses are not met.

This is a trap and third parties become so much attractive.

There is a saying that marriage is not ruined because of third party. Marriage is already going downhill and that is when third party comes in.

So let’s see what we can do not to take our spouses for granted.
Continue Reading »

Holiday is a big break to look forward to, especially we have planned for it for so long.

from vietvoyage.com

It is a reward we give to ourselves for working really hard for the past few months and it is something we tell ourselves we deserve it.

Taking a holiday is also a time for us to disconnect from our daily routine and an escape from our stress in work or from home.

We feel married couples should take a break to make a getaway. It does not really matter if it is a short one lasting for a few days or a very long one that may ast for a few weeks to a month.

My parent has always told me to plan an oversea trip once a year to see the world and not be confined like a frog in a well. There are far more things to be explored beyond the edge of the well.

So what does it takes to plan for a holiday with your spouse?

Agreement to a Common Destination:

It is not as easy as it sounds. It takes weeks of discussion to come to a common consensus where your next trip will be. Husband and wife will have different opinions based on different perceptions and beliefs.
Continue Reading »

Dear all,

Now Im back in my hometown. Now Im sorting out my photos I took in Vietnam and will most probably be posting tonight.

Had to get adjusted back to Singapore’s life again.

Meanwhile, see you tonight.

I will be away to Ho Chin Minh, Vietnam till Friday.

It is a short trip. There is nowhere we can change money in Singapore.

The common practice is to bring US or Singapore dollars to change them to “dong” in Vietnam as their currency value is too small.

At this point in time, I think it can be quite warm in Ho Chin Minh. Hmmm…no difference from Singapore, I guess.

I got to rush to airport pretty soon.

Meanwhile, bye for now and do come back for my posts on the photos I will be taking in Vietnam on Friday.

Meanwhile, you take care and can carry on reading some of the posts below which I did today at about 10am, Singapore’s Time and today is a Monday.

It was tough to juggle time between work, friends and family.

It was not easy to manage the very limited time that we have. Each of us only have 24 hours per day.

Yesterday, I made a special trip to support a very good friend of mine who was holding an art exhibition for her oil paintings. She was in fact selling her paintings for charity and the oil paintings do not come cheap.

The price range was around S$400 to $600.

Other friends and I specially went to the art exhibition venue just to support her and we all skipped our lunch so that we could be on time.

Her oil painting was really fantastic and we kept on priaising that she did an excellent work.
Continue Reading »

Lately a reader and also a friend of mine emailed me asking for advice on choosing a credible and reliable fengshui master.

from beifan.com

Fengshui master, in our Chinese culture, helps to choose auspicious dates based on the wedding couples and their parents birthdates, birth years and Eastern zodiac signs.

In some families, choosing the right date is a life-and-death issue and even if it may fall on some weekdays, some families will go ahead as planned even though it may cause inconvenience to others relatives and friends who are working.

Beside choosing dates, the fengshui master will set aside auspicious timings when the groom has to fetch the bride, when the bride has to return home and when the tea-ceremony has to start.

There are many practices to follow for the believers.

I have heard that for Teochew, the groom has to leave the house at 4am in the morning so that he can fetch the bride at 5am. I think it is quite crazy.

Again it is a custom to the Teochew which must be followed and I respect that.

In fact, for me, I don’t really believe such beliefs.

There are two main reasons that wedding couples seek the advice from fengshui masters.

One of them is the wedding couples truly believe in it.

The other reason is to satisfy the mothers and to stop the constant nagging from them.

Nagging from mothers could be more potent than any other forms of stressor.

For us, we did this so that my mother-in-law can be convinced that the date we choose is the “right” one.

Surprisingly, the fengshui master we consulted advised us that the dates do not really matter at all.
Continue Reading »

Marriage is a process of many ups and downs.

It is never like what some of the medias portray as a smooth and comfortable bed of roses.

from graphicobsession.com

If a couple tells you that they never have any disagreement or conflict, they are lying.

Nowadays, there are many ways to seek advice or opinions when someone bump into a wall in his or her relationship.

One of the common ways is confiding in a trusted friend.

Remember the last time you have a problem and you could have confided in either your colleagues or your buddies.

However, such move is dangerous as untrained friends may start giving you advice and they want you to do this or that, thinking that the solutions they provide are fool-proof.

In actual fact, friends are most likely talking from their perspective and they may not necessarily fully understand what situations you are in.

In addition, you may just be seeking a listening ear rather than a solution.

Have you felt even more at loss after telling a friend your problem and all he does is tell you “not to worry” or “don’t think about it”?

The second way of looking for an answer is turn to God of your own religion. Some people just pray or they prefer to sit alone in a church or chapel to have some quiet moments. Others meditate.

The third way is to call a helpine offered in your country. There may be helplines for distressed couples or unhappy bride or groom. Helplines are manned by professional social workers or trained volunteers who will have more skills and knowledge to address the different issues that couples have. This is one of the highly recommended ways to seek an answer.
Continue Reading »