Giving Ways to Each Other

Wedding is just a start for conflicts and disagreements to become the daily issues of couples.

In fact, some long term couples or even the newly-wed have already tasted what fire unresolved conflicts can bring.

from cls.yale.edu

I was at the bus stop waiting for a bus one day when I heard a young couple quarreling. I happened to overhear that the issues were not spending enough time with her.

The first thing the guy did was to blame the girl too for not having enough time at all due to her work. The girl rebuked with a continuous ammo of her past unpleasant experiences that she had spending time all alone.

Blames on each other got torpedoed at each other and they forgot they were in the public.

A lot of times happily married couples resolved their conflicts differently. They use humors and give way to the other party.

Giving way is not equal to confessing that you are in the wrong. It only means respect to the relationship.

Many times my friends who were in relationship asked me if we ever argued or quarreled.

The answer is a definite "Yes!" with a capital "Y".

Disagreement is a way of life because we are two unique inidividuals. Even identical twins have different opinions and insist their ways at times.

Actually in fact, it was really difficult for me to think of the recent examples we had. The reason was because I choose to forgive and forget.

I know it is not easy to forgive but for the fact that she is my wife, no matter what she did, I have to forgive her and she gives me the same treatment.

When tension increased sometimes, even from minor issues like placing the bag on the floor, we used humor to remind each other.

For example, I would say "What happened if I stumble over your bag and roll 5 times and hit the wall?" Of course, the tone must be comical accompanied with funny actions.

The point is to get the point across which is "please put your bag in the right place" and there are 101 ways to do it.

Whichever way is up to you and whichever way will bring different outcome.

What you can do the next time conflicts arise:
1. Take a breathe and think of one reason why the conflict arises.
2. It may be the other party's wrong and giving way to him/ her release the tension.
3. Remember giving way doesn't mean you are right and s/he is wrong
4. Say in a funny way that induce laughter or even a smile
5. When the atmosphere is less tense, then it is easier to bring your point across.

How do you resolve conflict with your wife or husband?