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March 10, 2007

Respect Personal Space

After marriage, as much as we want to spend time with each other, the other agreement that we have is to respect each other’s personal space.

What do I mean by that?

Irregardless of during the period of courtship or being married, every one of us still wants to spend time alone and still do things we like to do.

Do we like it even if our parents always follow every where we go? Isn’t the answer obvious? We still want our own personal space.��

A married friend once told me, when his wife wants to go out shopping or meet old friends, she still tells him. However, she is not seeking the husband’s permission but because she respects him and that is why she is telling him. In addition, the wife must inform the husband where she is going and what time she will be back so that the family won’t be worried if she comes home late.

Likewise for the husband, he can still go for his brothers’ gathering or go to some places he frequents when he was single. For example, he can still go to bookshop or catch a show alone if he enjoys that.

I have seen many couples wanting to change their spouses. “Why can’t you be like? Why can’t you be like that?”

Would you like it if your spouse want to change you…completely? I don’t think so. We don’t like to be changed. If changing is so easy, then the earth will spin upside down.

People are resistant to changes most of the times. We like to be who we are…be in equilibrium…to be in stable state.��

Having just married, we are still doing fine adjustments here and there. We still meet our own friends, do things we have always enjoyed…and many times….giving each other lots of personal space to grow and rest…