While in the bridal car, we closed our tired eyes and rested.

It had been a tiring day since morning. Another tea-ceremony to go. When we reached bride’s home, the tea was not ready yet. So we waited. Friends and relatives made use of this free time to take photos with us.

After 15 minutes had passed, the tea and the tea-set were ready. We got into position for another cycle of serving tea to relatives and seniors.

It lasted for another 20 mins and we finally sat down on the sofa and heaved a sigh of relief. Half day had passed. Another busy night to go through together. >.<

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Hmmmm..interestingly…I have received quite a number of thank-you emails from readers…thanking me on how much help my blog had given them….and how much time and inconvenience they are sparred…

one consoling thing was that after reading my blog, they feel that the mood swings and frustration tumbles they are experiencing are considered normal because they realise many other wedding couples like me and the rest go through it too.

Wedding couples, while planning their wedding, may experience happiness, joy, bliss, delight…and also feelings from the other end of specturms of feelings such as frustration, confusion, anger…even hatred…or even hoplessness…

We always want someone to hear us out and desperately wanting to share our feelings with our close ones…but sometimes, our close ones may not even understand…or don’t even have time to hear us out…

As much as this blog has helped you, I also want my Wedding Blog to benefit new readers and more couples who will be planning their wedding in the future.

I want to provide them an avenue to release their pent-up emotions…or by reading postings of feelings that you will be sharing later…

If you want to share your wedding-planning experience or similar experience you have heard from others, please fill in the boxes below…

Popularity: 2% [?]

Being in love…remember our first date…our first kiss…our first time we hold hands…our first time our eyes met…our first time… … …

Being in love means so much more…one can turn the world around or dive to the deepest ocean or pluck the moon from the sky just for the love one…

Being in love…also means doing whatever it takes to win someone’s heart…even doing something beyong one’s means…

When I looked around me, years after relationships…this special feeling of being in love dampened and soured…or almost vanished…

In the past, I have seen how some old couples cursed each other grumbling that they have married to the wrong person for the past 60 years…

Now, it seemed like the age has lowered so much. Once, I was in this MRT station and saw this young lady in mid-20s screaming and yelling and even hitting the husband (who was in late 20s). She was even hitting the husband..and right in front of their 5-year-old boy…oh dear…

Hmmmm…is this how love will evolve after some time?…

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There is a wise saying “If you want to draw a bird, you must become the bird.” It meant to really understand one thing fully, we must be that thing.

Everyday, we have hurdles. We find oursleves panting jumping over obstacles, only to realise there is another mountain to conquer. Oh my..we are almost short of breathes…dying…wanting to give up.

Everyday, when our spouse comes back home…after going through an unimaginable day of tossing in and out (or to be exact, being tossed around by others)…oh my…there is so much inner voices going on inside them…just cant wait to go back home to release the pent-up emotion…to someone who s/he really trusts…only seeking for a listening ear…only to forget the other party also went through a hellish day…not prepared to hear…to fully hear what his or her partner is pouring out…

There are many times we thought we really understand our love ones…only to realise at the end of the day we knew nothing…whatever we thought we knew was just an illusion…

There are alot of times we thought we knew how much s**t our partner went through and we thought we understand…we so carelessly and simply push away the feelings our partners are trying to explain when s/he shares about the problems s/he is facing…

what are some of the common replies when someone pours his or her heart out?

“It is okay”

“Don’t think so much, ok?”

“Things will be okay.”

“Don’t think so much.”

“Why are you thinking so much?”

and many more other examples that you can give.

What happen next? How do we react? Do we share more or shut off?

I believe we could never understand how torturous or uncomfortable when our partner said so. we have different definition of the same word and we understand different extent of discomfort.

Imagine yourself confiding with someone who you usually confide in. How often do that person can 100% understand what you are feeling or experiencing?

It is tough to fully experience what the other person had experienced. Anyway whatever had happened is already over. We couldn’t go back in time…

so what we could hear is from the story-teller…the person sharing his or her own version of the story…so why don’t we really listen with both our ears…and our heart…>.<

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It is not easy to really listen to someone grumble of what happened to him or her in day and stay objective-minded and be sane enough not to give solutions.

Just constant nodding will be helpful enough unless the speaker asks for some suggestions or advice.

It has been 2 months plus since our wedding and everyone has been asking me what is different for me…

For me, I just want to continue to be who I am plus I want to have the power to embrace my wife wholly, accepting who she is and being there for her wherever she needs me.

Everyday, we have a routine of going for a walk of about 1 Km and while walking, we chit-chat, as if we were still in courtship period, listening, really listening to how each other’s day was and the feelings behind what had happened.

I know many people just want to give solutions to help the person but how many times did we shun away from such solution-providers because we felt that we are not heard?

As for me, I feel after everyday, we are all very drained, emotionally and mentally sapped by whatever good or bad incidents that had happened since the break of dawn.

Likewise, for me and my wife and being normal humans, we are not sparred from this similar daily routine we had to go through together with billions of people in the other parts of the world.

After each day, we had tons of things to share or things we are not very sure about and just want to talk it out. From each other, we garner strength and reassurance to push on to the next day.

It is a daily commitment and I’m not saying we are so disciplined to follow our routine everyday…sometimes, it is ok to give it a miss and we rest at home when we were too tired…

But what I want to share here…is I would want to do my best to stay committed to listening to my wife, really hearing her…and be there for her in times of springs and storms…

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Lately, I have been racking my brains with many books (an average of 300-pages book in about 10 hours)

…books on passages and stages of life…books on psychology and self-actualisation…books on feminity and marriages…books that can churn up so much turmoil and emotion in me and force me to re-look into every corner of my life again to wonder if I have lived everyday to my fullest…

At this very moment, I am asking myself
-”If I were to be re-born in this family and to re-live every single day of my life being enmeshed inside this constant question of who I really am, will I still want everything to be the same?”

Looking back in my life and looking at other people’s lives, it seemed that everyone’s life has his ups and downs; blessings and struggles.

No one’s life is completely smooth…

A brief peep into my life (uncensored thoughts):

“Everyday is tormenting for me with surprises coming to greet me, good and bad. Torment that comes from my inner voice….topping up by my anxiety that I seemed to never get away from…an inner voice to stop me from speaking my mind, an inner voice that stopped me from being my true spontaneous self…an inner voice that impedes my progress…and constantly throw me back to square one…

Being raised up in a single-parent family, my only idol is my mother…who has painstaking raised me up over these years…no amount of giving back to her can compensate the amount of tears, sweat and blood she had lost while raising me up. Even losing my life for her will not suffice…

My dad left me when I was 14…but his influence and impact on me was strong and deeply-rooted inside me…I only remember what my mother shared about what my dad told her, “I know I can’t give you everything; I will do my best to give you what you deserve.”

Right now, I hold on to this invaluable lesson dearly…making sure I deliver the same thing to my wife…

Continue Reading »

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This Chinese New Year was an eye-opener even to someone like me who had been celebrating this special occasion for the past twenty over years.

There are many more family practices we have to abide by and for me to learn.

For example, we would need to bring at least 8 Mandarin oranges back to in-law’s place with other gifts like abalone, bird nest and a box of chocolate.

Going back to the in-laws’ place for reunion dinner had to be planned 1 month before so that we could compromise on a date that can fit all. The reunion dinner was to be done on the day before new year’s eve as new year’s eve itself is reserved for the husband’s side.

After the reunion dinner, we have to come back with 8 oranges, 2 fried fishes and 2 big pans of carrot cakes. According to Cantonese custom, the wife has to return with lots of gifts so as to show that the wife’s side has a wealth of food to eat and even bring back.

Now, the next thing is for the in-laws to visit our family. It was really hard to fix a date as both of us have to be back in office to work…in holiday mood of course plus by the time my in-law leaves my house, it will be very late at night and it is only by then my wife can do her work.

Hmmm…I also don’t want her to sleep so late cos it is very unhealthy for her…but how to tell her parents? >.<

Hmmm…what to do…and do you know what is one thing that even great man finds difficult to do…that is to talk back to her mother-in-law

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