Honored I was to be coordinately invited by the author of this stunning and romantic blog to share my views on LOVE.
It’s such a broad topic. Maybe I should just view on romance….Hmm….What is LOVE?
I begin to ponder….
*Pages of memories flipped in the human data based*~Ding~
Shallow it may seem but somehow, I begin to recollect on the old memories of my first puppy love, of the first time my heart skipped its beat when he appeared. The time, when I meant everything to him and he meant the world to me, when LOVE is your only concern. The daily calls and meet up…. All the lovey dovey stuffs… All the first times become so ‘memorable’… The first time you hold your hand with him, the first time he looks into your eyes and you say yes… Everything about him becomes the number one priority… everything about him seem perfect, the eyes, the features, his looks… everything…. you proudly brings him out, hold him tightly by the arm and make all your friends envious… It sounds crazy but that is love when you are young. Childish? Maybe but come on touch your heart and ask yourselves, isn’t the case for most of us?
Love is Blind….
Then as you grow up, as you see and experience more, the definition of love changes… Love is no longer just looks, or the daily calls… it’s much deeper perception. It comes a time when love becomes more unconditional; when love no longer means possessing the person. Loving him is when you let go and set him free to make him happier even if it means millions of piercing daggers into the wound. It’s the time you would do anything and everything for someone.
Love is patient, kind and not jealous. It comes a time when Love is forgiving. When you truly love someone you love everything about them and you look passed all of their flaws.
When you really love someone you are loyal and honest to them. You would never want to hurt that person. You would treat that person like you would want them to treat you. You give your whole self to that person and share everything with that person. You would want to protect them and are willing to die for them. You are supposed to love them like you love your own self. You want to see that person happy. You want the best for that person and you want to see that person succeed.
Then as the adrenaline rising love carve its path, love settles down. To some, it means the dying signal of a relationship, however in my perspective it’s a good signal. It’s a good time for a couple to ‘upgrade’ and moved on to the next stage of their relationship to spark off the ‘honey-moon’ period they once have.
Love may be the sweetest thing everyone craves for, a fairy tale relationship is what every girl dream for but the path is certainly not a bed of roses. It can be bitter. There would definitely be times of quarrels over trivial issues but bear in mind the first rule for relationship; it’s unconditional and forgiving as long as your loved one is happy.
The most important thing is to love someone with true heart. Treasure each and every moment with them, for the last thing you want is to regret not loving them enough.
Enough said, I shall spread my love and send my blessings to everyone reading this.
To those who have not found your love or who have been through many sorrow patching on the heart, don’t despair for love is in the air. Awaiting the journey to the ONE, bear in mind you are still LOVED by many others around you…
With Love:
LinG’er
14th August 2006
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Of late, the newspapers have been marred with bad news – terrorism, looming war, poor economic outlook, jobs at stake, natural disasters and human crime, the list goes on… During tough times, it is important that we keep our spirits up and stay positive. There will surely be light at the end of the tunnel. We have to learn to appreciate the little things in our life. A meal with family/ friends, a conversation with a loved one or watching a movie/ TV programme are such trivial matters, but, do we take pleasures in these events?Well, think about the recent Korean train incident, No one expected it to happen. It is so tragic that such a thing should happen and imagine the unresolved issues that each of the victims may have. A truce with someone whom a quarrel has occurred, an occasion that has yet to be celebrated as it has been procrastinated for too many times, etc…
There are so many things that we have yet to do or experience. Life is short and thus, it is coined precious by many. Let’s do ourselves a favour – start living and stop brooding on things that are not meant to be and learn to treasure our loved ones and people/ events that come our way.
The birds and the flowers around us did not asked to be born and yet they are surviving just fine as Mother Nature provides for them. They have no plans for the future and they take each day as it comes.
Hence, being the more intelligent species, we will ride out these tough times and if we sow good seeds now, the promise of a bountiful harvest is ensured.
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A bouquet for her
During courtship period, most guys will shower the ladies with gifts. Then, while they are still dating, the flow of gifts is still being sustained, maybe decrease a little bit la. Hmm…then after they get married, there is hardly any more gift..”waste money?”
Many times, this is when trouble comes. The ladies may ask “Why isn’t there any more gift for me? Where is the bouquet of flower he sent me everyday when he is courting me?…” the list goes on.
Guys and ladies alike…many times we are so preoccupied with our work, our career, our climb up the corporate ladder, the endless datelines, the many meetings till don’t know what time…by the time, we have reached home, we are so tired. Some may even have to take care of children and that leaves the couples very little time or no time to spend with each other.
I learnt from a friend (she is already in mid-forties, had a 13-year-old son) that everyday, she and her husband goes for a half-an-hour walk after dinner without fail. Other secondary benefits, also a good time to digest the food. Lower probabily for a tummy to be formed too.
The purpose of going for a slow walk is to update each other of their daily’s happenings and share their thoughts with one another. She even said the things they can discuss is endless because different daily events happen to them everyday. In fact, thousands and thoousands of things to talk about. So this makes me ponder why some couples even after 2 years of marriage told me they have nothing much to talk about. They just sit in front of the TV and stare at it.
As for me, I played my part too, making an effort to sit beside her and watch her do work even though she has to look at computer monitor. I also does surprise my fiancee with bouquets of flower, little toys, gifts or even a packet of bread for her to bring to work because I know that she is too busy to take her lunch. Small gesture like this goes a long way.
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It is not easy to go through alone, especially when one feels so alone here, with no friend and family. If I were to put myself in your shoe, I would have felt the same way as you do, may be some fear, some anxiety and some sense of loss of direction. A mixture of feelings that you may not even be sure yourself. If you are not even sure yourself, how can others say “I understand how you are feeling.”
It is tough to walk through it alone, with so many obstacles, real or unreal, in the physical space or just in the head. Many people will just say “just go through la, you will be fine.” But how many people actually stop to listen to how you really feel? How many do actually listen to your inner voice? Who can sit down and just hear you out or even to offer a shoulder to cry on?
It is so easy to give up now. It is so easy to say that you don’t want to carry on. But what about the happy times that you have spent with each other? What about the times that both of you have done so much for each other? What about the times you said you love each other? Have you forgotten that?
The road of preparing the wedding is long. As much as we want it to be smooth, but things will seldom be the way we want it. Problems will come, challenges will confront you. Strike down these hurdles together and let them be opportunities for both of you to work together and learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
I know it is easier to say than to do it. I know I’m not you and only you know yourself best and what is best for you.
Glad that the last time I heard from you is things are going on well. You spent more time with your spouse-to-be and both of you communicate more with each other. It is not easy but I’m glad you have done it. Learn all these tools well and keep them by your side, as these will be the tools needed for the entire marriage life.
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This was a photo of me and my jie-jie during her wedding. She just had her make-up and hair-do done and everybody was queuing up to take photos with her. There is a saying that a lady looks prettiest on her day of her wedding. Though true, I believe that ladies (plus everybody) look best as long as she smiles. But, sad to say, because the society’s pace is so fast, all men and women forgot how to smile.
My jie-jie and me. So happy for her!!!
The solemnisation was held in Fullerton Hotel’s Jade restaurant. A table costs at least $1,300!!!It was held just before the wedding lunch. My cousin-in-law is a Japanese. Very courteous, well-mannered and has very good up-bringing. A role model for all husband-to-be including me. I remembered my jie-jjie told me her hubby cupped his hands to contain her vomit when she suddenly vomitted while resting on bed becuase she was unwell. I doubt not many husbands can do this. I’m sure her husband loves her very much!!!
This is the solemnisation and the decor of the table is done with rose petals
Yeah…now they are officially husband and wife and it had been 2 years plus.
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Many people say marriage is two people’s business. What matter most is both of you are happy and be there for each other.
I believe that the marriage is more than two people’s business; it is two families’ business!
The reason that the older folks give for intervening in two people’s business is “for your own good.” They just tell you “they leave the decision entirely to you” but “hoping that you will follow their decision”. Soon, the business will grow from two people to two families.
Hmmmm…I’m just wondering how many of you feel the same way as I do while you are reading this post?
Before food tasting, the older folks tell you they are there to give support and enjoy themselves. Then, when it came to deciding what the final menu is, some of the older folks will give their opinions. And they will tell you 100 “No”s why some of the food you have chosen is the wrong one. Some don’t say in front of everyone. Some leave it till they reach home and they tell the child. Then the child becomes the messenger between two families.
As for me, there are times I have to screen and filter the messages from my own family. If not, the preparation can’t move on. I’m more task-focused. “Ok, let’s make up our mind and move on. No point discussing this food matter for 2 weeks. There are still so much things to worry about and to plan. Anyway, we won’t get to eat on that day.”
My gut feeling is this is just a start: meeting both families’ expectations and the children being used as messengers. I think the key is to have lots of communication plus support within the couple themselves. And constantly reminding themselves, “let’s focus on the issues; none of them is to be blame. And they still love each other very much.”
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Hey…today’s GUEST blogger is my friend Phyllis and this post is from her:
–.:Life being married:.–
I used to think I would be alone all my life
Who am I kidding?
As from the moment I was born
My life is already shared among those around me
My parents, my sister and brother
My relations and friends
I used to think my love is the same for all dear to me
Who am I kidding?
As from the moment I fell in love
My life had already evolved
My family includes his family and vice versa
My space has became our joint space
I used to think in laws are difficult to get along
Who am I kidding?
As from the moment I become their son’s wife
My in laws became my parents
My position in his family is by his side
My new mission in life is to be a dutiful wife
I used to think that it is very crowded to share a bed
Who am I kidding?
As from the moment we become man and wife
My side of the bed is often empty, as it is his side that is crowded
My comfort is when I feel the warmth of his body
My lullaby is when I hear his breathing
I used to think that it is tough to make it on our own
Who am I kidding?
As from the moment we took our vows
My life is no longer mine alone
My husband and I now possess the power of 2
My happiness is his and ours to make
I used to think that life is tough
Who am I kidding?
As from the moment I said – I do
My life is no longer the same as when I am single
My fears and my woes are no longer mine alone
My everyday is exciting from the moment I open my eyes
- to my husband whom I love with all my heart and share my life with J
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here’s another poem that i wrote abt commitment
C are for The One you love…
O pportunities for true love,
M ay happen only once,
M aybe, not at all in this life !
I love thee…
T hough we may not be,
M ost compatible,
E motions draw us close…
N atural instincts and fate,
T ie us together ‘n’ hopefully all our life…
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